tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post4603565427484029590..comments2024-03-24T14:25:25.667+01:00Comments on CARPE DIEM HAIKU KAI: Carpe Diem Special #47, Jane Reichhold's "sweeping the porch"Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-81590767950141381242013-07-18T03:39:37.724+02:002013-07-18T03:39:37.724+02:00I wish I had a porch, but we have summer in full f...I wish I had a porch, but we have summer in full force here. Our temps are in the 100s. I loved your haiku. It had good imagery. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02383088026534281295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-8690194832002097342013-07-18T01:54:51.346+02:002013-07-18T01:54:51.346+02:00sorry, 'bout that. I don't know what happe...sorry, 'bout that. I don't know what happened.Lollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16526692343815904632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-70441929579887407662013-07-17T10:03:41.122+02:002013-07-17T10:03:41.122+02:00This was awesome. I like it if we all are thinking...This was awesome. I like it if we all are thinking about one's haiku, maybe it's something we can do in a special feature of Carpe Diem. Thank you all for the kindness to think my haiku over and help me to make it better. As I have read the comments again ... I have decided to let the haiku be as it is. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts with me.<br /><br />NamasteChèvrefeuillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848986700725789154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-23715968753625382402013-07-17T04:46:12.885+02:002013-07-17T04:46:12.885+02:00Leave it. I read it as you hold in the broom as th...Leave it. I read it as you hold in the broom as the last leaf left, remembering the fond memories of the season as it faded. Very sentimental the way you have in now and it captures what you explained in your last reply. I like it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17928057705247710612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-63322107895124481202013-07-17T04:45:48.423+02:002013-07-17T04:45:48.423+02:00Lolly, I'm getting to weird Blogger page when ...Lolly, I'm getting to weird Blogger page when I click on your link. I'll find it from another prompt.Maggie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13044824920398442496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-13238394695859047842013-07-17T01:42:31.758+02:002013-07-17T01:42:31.758+02:00I will try to explain what I saw as I was writing...I will try to explain what I saw as I was writing this haiku.. I was busy sweeping the garden with a broom. From one of the trees fell a last leaf. I stopped sweeping and watched the curved fall of that last leaf in ecstasy. It felt sad to see that last leaf fall and I thought "now autumn has departed for sure". This scene I painted with the haiku.Chèvrefeuillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848986700725789154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-6838249000471366832013-07-17T01:19:33.262+02:002013-07-17T01:19:33.262+02:00I love your haiku today but I do think you would s...I love your haiku today but I do think you would say "the broom holds departing autumn" if what you are trying to say is that the leaf, which is stuck in the broom, is a part of autumn. Also, seasons don't need to be capitalized. It's a common error. Your English is usually quite good with very few missteps.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-59848857256445670742013-07-16T21:52:41.729+02:002013-07-16T21:52:41.729+02:00sweeping the garden
a last leaf falls...I hold in ...sweeping the garden<br />a last leaf falls...I hold in the broom -<br />departing Autumn<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Here's a 5-7-5 :)<br /><br />sweeping the garden ...<br />I stop to watch the last leaf<br />of autumn departLollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16526692343815904632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-79590234002460258592013-07-16T20:59:50.900+02:002013-07-16T20:59:50.900+02:00I like it just as it is, Kristjaan. It's captu...I like it just as it is, Kristjaan. It's capturing such a bittersweet moment...to me.Maggie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13044824920398442496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-16173240267426716412013-07-16T20:32:10.155+02:002013-07-16T20:32:10.155+02:00Wonderful haiku to get inspired from, and your res...Wonderful haiku to get inspired from, and your response is exactly the same tone... brudberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12563403553536472377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-46168464827613556582013-07-16T20:31:33.948+02:002013-07-16T20:31:33.948+02:00Maybe you could write "holding the broom"...Maybe you could write "holding the broom" instead. English is not my first language either... but it sounds better in my earsbrudberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12563403553536472377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-23802294243658575312013-07-16T20:09:06.991+02:002013-07-16T20:09:06.991+02:00Kristjaan, it has to be a native speaker. I myself...Kristjaan, it has to be a native speaker. I myself overstep the borders quite often. Never mind, haiku defies grammer. Though, I also agree, I'd like to know if native speakers would think certain constructions as possible or not.<br />Anaway, I like this prompt very much. Thanks for the work involved.Rheumatologehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16169204718725630420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-28406216969038014072013-07-16T19:27:18.868+02:002013-07-16T19:27:18.868+02:00Found it! I just wrote:
sweeping the porch
a sile...Found it! I just wrote:<br /><br />sweeping the porch<br />a silent cicada<br />flies into life<br /><br />Have to come up with a little drawing yet.Femia Jantzenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04672400878518516989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8512327745848627452.post-74905302230073072682013-07-16T18:12:29.616+02:002013-07-16T18:12:29.616+02:00I don't know exactely if I have written that s...I don't know exactely if I have written that second line in the good manner of English. So I hope you understand, and if you can help me to write it better, please let me know it.Chèvrefeuillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848986700725789154noreply@blogger.com