Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,
As I have tried to catch up commenting I ran into several nice haibun written and inspired on the prompts of our Haiku Kai. So I think it's time for a new episode of our haibun-feature "Kamishibai" (which means story-teller in Japanese). The goal is to write a haibun inspired on the given prompt. For this episode that is "Departing Summer". Here in The Netherlands it's still summer, but temperatures are downing and it feels like autumn already. Trees are loosing their leaves already ... so I thought 'this is a great prompt for Carpe Diem Haiku Kai, and for our Kamishibai-feature'.
For this episode I love to challenge you a bit by giving a few rules which you have to use:
1. A maximum of 100 words (don't ask me why);
2. the haiku has to follow a few of the the classical rules:
a. 5-7-5 syllables;
b. season word;
c. cutting word (interpunction);
d. interchangeable first and third line
3. (Not an obligation) I love to read it in English and in your own language (e.g. for me that would be Dutch)
Here is my attempt to write a haibun "departing summer":
"Look granddad", my grandson yells. He shows me a red leaf from a tree which I don't know. “Where did you find it?”
"It's from a tree I have discovered", he answers. He takes me by the hand. “I will show you were I have found it”. He points at a painting of Van Gogh in the garden of our neighbours.
"Look granddad, the red leaf fell from that painting".
first red
leaves fall
Van Gogh’s painting comes alive
in a child’s hand
Van Gogh’s painting comes alive
in a child’s hand
© Chèvrefeuille
Credits: Mulberry Tree - Vincent Van Gogh |
And here is the Dutch translation:
"Kijk opa", roept mijn kleinzoon. Hij laat me een
rood blad zien van een boom die ik niet ken. "Waar heb
je die gevonden?" vraag ik hem.
"Die boom heb ik ontdekt", antwoordt hij. Hij neemt me bij mijn hand.
"Ik zal je laten zien waar ik het heb gevonden”. Hij wijst me een schilderij van Van Gogh aan in de tuin van onze buren. “Kijk opa, dit rode blad viel uit dat schilderij'.
"Die boom heb ik ontdekt", antwoordt hij. Hij neemt me bij mijn hand.
"Ik zal je laten zien waar ik het heb gevonden”. Hij wijst me een schilderij van Van Gogh aan in de tuin van onze buren. “Kijk opa, dit rode blad viel uit dat schilderij'.
eerste rode blad valt
Van Gogh’s schilderij komt tot leven
in een kinderhand
Van Gogh’s schilderij komt tot leven
in een kinderhand
© Chèvrefeuille
Well ... have fun with this challenging Kamishibai-episode. This episode is NOW OPEN for your submissions and will remain open until August 31st at noon (CET)
What a wonderful haibun, Kristjaan :) It made me smile to experience your grandson's wonder and imagination. And what a treat to "read" (or sort of read it!) in Dutch too. A great prompt :)
ReplyDeleteI think the "rule" for a 100-word limit is because some haibun seem to go on and on and on...
ReplyDeleteWonderful.. I love haibun, and I love yours.. the dutch version was a great addition.. and I had to write mine in Swedish too... (I actually wrote it in Swedish first...)
ReplyDeleteGreat story, Kristjaan.
ReplyDeleteChild's imagination or the surreal?
Great to see the Dutch, though I'm limited to English.
Cheers
JzB
Ach, I forgot to do it in French...nice variation always here. Your haibun ran deep - the child also is an opposite mirror to the red leaf as well as being a child, who holds the magic. The whole haibun was in fact magical
ReplyDeleteI just want to say that your haibun inspired me to write my very-first one...Enjoyed doing it.....thanks.....
ReplyDelete