Carpe Diem Weekend-meditation #14 Revise That Haiku

!! Open for your submissions Sunday January 7th at 7:00 PM (CET) !!

Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

First I have to apologize for being late with this weekend-meditation. I had a very busy day and hadn't time to create this weekend-meditation. So my excuses for being this late.

This weekend I love to challenge you to "revise that haiku". "Revise That Haiku" was one of our special features here at CDHK. The goal is to re-create, to revise, a given haiku of a classical haiku poet like Basho or Chiyo-Ni. I will give you the background story of the haiku and than the haiku as written by the classical haiku poet. It's a real challenge I think and I think that you will experience some difficulties to revise a haiku of a classical poet.

The logo of this special CDHK feature as used in our history

For this weekend-meditation "revise that haiku" I have chosen a nice haiku written by (my master) Matsuo Basho (1644-1694). I will first give you the story behind the haiku:

With the haiku, we are going to revise, came (as was common in Basho's time) a preface or title. For this haiku the title was: 'Mourning over the death of priest Tando'.

This is the background to this haiku:

Basho and Tando were close friends and he (Basho) was very sad, as you can read in the haiku, very sad when he heard that Tando had passed away. He weeps, while falling on his knees. Maybe with his hands before his face I think so. Tando had teached him some fundamental rules of Zen Buddhism, so Basho flourished after these teachings. He became the flower, but now his friend and teacher had died, the flower felt to the ground closer to the root. He wept for his friend in farewell and wrote this haiku:

chi ni taore   me ni yori hana no   wakare kana

falling to the ground
a flower closer to the root
bidding farewell

© Matsuo Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

And now it is up to you to "revise" this haiku. Read the background again, try to become one with the scene, or in other words "try to be Basho", and look at the haiku again. How can it be revised? Maybe it becomes a stronger haiku, maybe not, but that's not the issue here. Just try to "revise" the haiku.

Matsuo Basho (1644-1694)

Of course I have given it a try myself. Here is my "revision" of this beautiful haiku by my master Matsuo Basho:

tears flow
falling to the ground
autumn leaves

© Chèvrefeuille

Well ... I think this is a nice challenge. I am looking forward to your responses ... and I hope of course that you all will have the courage to revise this haiku by Basho. Have a great weekend!

This episode is open for your submissions next Sunday January 7th at 7:00 PM (CET) and will remain open until January 14th at noon (CET). Have fun ...!