Showing posts with label Carpe Diem Just Read. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Carpe Diem Just Read. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Carpe Diem Theme Week (6) 3 The knowledge of Jane


Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

First my apologies for being late with this episode of the Theme Week in tribute for Jane Reichhold. I am on the nightshift, so I hadn't time enough to create this episode.

In our almost four (4) years of existence I shared a lot of the knowledge of Jane according to haiku, tanka and renga. Several months came along in which I shared her passion for Matsuo Basho, the Haiku Writing Techniques and more.
She answered question in our special feature "Ask Jane" and in our special feature "Just Read" I shared sometimes an article by Jane. Even in our own e-zine "Souchou" I shared her knowledge. I am grateful that she gave me permission to share all the beautiful works of her on haiku, tanka and renga.

In this Theme Week episode I love to share another wonderful article written by Jane to inspire you. Please let me know through the comment field what you learned from Jane and please share haiku and tanka inspired on the article.

This article was written for and first posted on the Shiki International Haiku Salon, April 16, 1996. This article titled: "Another Attempt to Define Haiku" is a nice article, but it's a long read. I first thought to just publish an excerpt, but ... I didn't. I just will reproduce this article here.


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Another Attempt to Define Haiku  

by Jane Reichhold

It is now generally agreed that the earliest poems were songs, prayers, and incantations to gods. One tentacle of the spread of poetry has been traced from Persia to India, up to China and over to Japan. Even before the written records in Japan (760 AD) people spoke tanka to gods and in praise of the reigning monarchy. Tanka, with its 5-7-5-7-7 sound syllable count, its lofty ancestry, its shortness and ease for recall, became the favorite poetical form of the Japanese Imperial Court. And thus, both reached their highest popularity and brilliance during the same centuries -- ninth to eleventh.
As one of the oldest forms of poetry still active (in 1987-88 Machi Tawara's book Salad Anniversary sold over 8 million copies in Japan alone) the form has recently been discovered by writers around the world.
In those years -- 9th - 12th centuries -- when tanka was so fashionable, poets competing in contests revived an old Chinese form by linking tanka poems together in a novel way. The poem was "broken" in half so one author wrote the 5-7-5 part and another responded and finished the poem by adding his (mostly men did this though it was first done by a woman!) 7-7 part. Instead of stopping there, someone else wrote a new 5-7-5 poem to "answer" to the previous 7-7 link and they named the genre renga -- meaning linked elegance. This proved to be so much fun poets were soon writing poems of 1,000 and even 10,000 links.
By the 14th century tanka had become stale and staid so renga became all the rage. Rules proliferated, schools were founded and splits naturally occurred. There were then two main styles: a serious, courtly style and the comic-bourgeois form favored by the newly rich merchants. Our beloved Basho (1644-94) was a renga master of the comic style and for that he was famous also in his day. Because of the popularity of renga and the extreme necessity for a really good hokku (starting verse), poets began to collect a backlog of "good" hokku to stick up their sleeves in case anyone asked them to start a renga.
From this, poets began to admire and write single 5-7-5 hokku and haikai (any verse in a renga). Even Basho's students collected enough for an anthology -- Sack of Charcoal. Haikai/hokku were not as easy to write as Basho made it look so the quality of the poems tended to fluctuate wildly peaking with Buson and Issa (and several other poets lacking good PR departments). In an effort to elevate their own poorer poems, writers began to rip apart Basho's old renga with other persons, taking out his poems and presenting them individually. Many of the haikai made little sense because the missing link was missing. Still they were better than the then current crop of poems and served as examples and snake oil to sell poems of lesser quality.
At the beginning of the 19th Century M. Shiki declared renga officially dead and it died -- in Japan, only to take regrow 60 years later in North America and Germany. Shiki also decided to end the debate about hokku/haikai by combining the name to give us haiku. Thanks! Shiki, we needed that.
Skipping to the present, one may ask what separates a haiku from any other short, light verse. The answers will be as varied and individual as are paths to a religious belief -- a metaphor that is not too far off as haiku writers easily admit to living the Way of Haiku (in an awareness of just this -- this moment) and in the Spirit of Haiku (to hold all things with reverence).
In the beginning is the form. In Japanese a haiku is traditionally 5-7-5 sound syllables. All languages cannot duplicate this method of counting syllables so foreign language writers must decide to either follow the method by writing 5-7-5 syllables in their own language. However if they prefer to imitate the product, the translated Japanese haiku, their poems must consist of less words. In English we cannot have both method and translated product correct in one poem so each of us must choose one system or the other. Beginners (especially if better acquainted with Western poetry) often do well to follow the 5-7-5 discipline at first. Later, when they become comfortable with saying what they want said in the least words, as it is easier to switch to the shorter styled haiku in a natural movement. This does not mean that 5-7-5 haiku are beginners' work; many, many very good writers insist on remaining with the form scheme.
In Japan haiku are written in one line vertically. Again we cannot imitate this so some poets, following as closely as they can (heel to toe, heel to toe), write haiku in one horizontal line. This style, however, hides the natural pauses the Japanese person hears at the end of each 5 or 7 syllable phrase. We also can be trained to hear them in English, but lacking the time and training for that, it was decided to show the pauses with line breaks. Thus, the foreign language haiku took on the familiar three -line shape.  
 
For many of us, an absolute indicator of a haiku is a break or caesura either at the end of the first or second line.

old pond
a frog leaps into
the water of sound

on a bare branch
a crow settles down
autumn dusk

Can you hear where the breaks are?
What is to be avoided is the so-called "run-on sentence" which is usually a sentence fragment.

the strange shape
of the passion flower
and its legend


which only needs to be rewritten to be:

strange shape
the passion flower
and its legend

As you see, having the courage to not follow 5-7-5 allows one to tighten up the poem so it fulfills the break requirement. In Japanese this break is indicated with a "cutting word" which is usually ignored in translation or replaced with a punctuation symbol. Remember the mention of old haikai being ripped out of the renga? The use of these "haiku" has given rise to the haiku which has its break in the middle of the second line; also a possible way of using the break which is now usually indicated with a dash, comma, or semi-colon. If there is a line break at the end of each line (as in the "grocery list" haiku) the poem sounds too choppy.
By reading aloud the Basho samples above you can hear the breaks made by syntax which is considered the best method of accomplishing this. It is also possible to indicate weaker breaks or reinforce them with punctuation.
Because the Japanese language uses articles less and differently than we do in English we must add them to our translations. In imitating this, new haiku writers are often puzzled when to shorten the poem by leaving out the articles (a, an, & the) or propositions (to, in, with, across, from, etc.). It has slowly evolved that it seems to sound best if one allows the shortest part of the haiku to be very brief by dropping these sentence parts. However, if in the two-line connected phrases, the poem can sound like pidgen-english or haiku telegrams if this is followed. It is often best to allow the longer two-line part all the articles and prepositions it needs to sound like a proper sentence fragment. When trying to shorten this part of a haiku you can often get some extra mileage out of using a noun that will also function as a verb.
In Japanese haiku pronouns (he, she, it, they, them, you, me etc.) are rarely explicit so the poem has an air of ambiguity -- more variations are possible for the reader. When haiku were presented to English writers this aspect was lauded as the "humility" of the poet who spoke of things, not his/her person. And if you are writing a hokku for a renga this is a good path to follow. However, within a renga, Japanese and others commonly refer to themselves or other humans and this aspect is then, more or less (depending on the writer) possible to use in a haiku. Some will say that haiku are nature poems and can only speak of nature and then try to convince you humans are not natural and cities are not nature. Not so! every building, everything is made of something borrowed from nature and its nature still surrounds it.
Haiku are and must be brief. Avoid adverbs (words describing the verb or action) and adjectives (words describing the noun or things). Use modifiers only to make your haiku images more exact and precise. Let us know if that gate is a garden gate, a prison gate or a swinging gate. Many adverbs and adjectives imply judgment (beautiful, graceful, ugly) so by avoiding them, and more importantly -- your own opinion, the haiku is left with images of things just as they are.
By being concrete -- using only images of things we can see, smell, taste, touch or feel -- the haiku writer avoids those traps of Western poetry: abstract ideas such as love, hate, sadness, desire, honor, glory, of which we have had enough. Haiku demands you use your bodily senses instead of your intellect. Forget what you have been taught; write of what you experience with your body. Check your haiku. See if you can draw a picture (at least in your mind) as result of reading each line. If you have a line -- "so that it was there" -- you can be sure it is one to drop or rewrite.
 
Haiku are simple. Often beginners try to put too much into it. A good rule is to have at least two concrete images, no more than three. Some schools of haiku (think of fish) are happy with a couple images which paint a lovely scene wherein your mind can wander and wonder.
Others are more demanding. They ask that the 2 or 3 images to compare, associate or contrast. Here, if you find your way, you can use your ability to see metaphors and simile. You have to accept that by putting the images side by side, leaving out the words "like" and "as" and you will be letting your reader make the leaps of imagination and understand your unspoken point.
Here comes the real challenge of haiku. To express an image or two so well that the reader "sees" them in his/her mind and then! you add another image that demands a leap or twist so the two previous images are seen in a new relationship (maybe even your metaphor, if you are lucky). An additional twist is to have images plus leap which reveal some deep philosophical truth or ideal without having to speak of it. Poetry is written vision. You have to show new ways of seeing things to be a real poet. Basho, again, showing us "real things" doing "unreal" things which feel real:

such stillness
the shrill of a cicada
pierces rock

Part of learning to write haiku is learning to read them. Read translations of Japanese masters, read early haiku written in your own language and read all the contemporary works you can find. Be picky. Decide if you like a haiku or not, if it speaks to you or not and if it does -- why. By analyzing the why you can discover techniques to help you say in haiku what you are experiencing. Go ahead and imitate haiku you like. Just never publish those poems because they are only exercises. Besides, the best-known haiku cannot be imitated.

lily
out of the water;
out of itself
jack-in-the-pulpit
out of the earth

out of ... (?) can you really say "itself" again?

Check a haiku. Can any word of it be changed out for another? If so, the haiku is flawed and can be rewritten. Only when each image is so dependent upon the other that whole thing collapses if one word is altered is the haiku "solid".
Because every image is interrelated, be aware of images that reflect a seasonal feeling or spirit. Springtime is for mornings, blossoms and babies, autumn for dying and old folks and evenings. Try to either know through study of kigo lists (lists of season words) which things are associated with which season or by observation. If you use an image out of season, make certain you are doing it for contrast and not ignorance. We non-Japanese are poorly trained in this and it takes study and practice to do that which they do naturally.
Haiku should have a reverence for life and living. To write from the knowledge that even the dead are "alive", that the ugly has something beautiful in it, that even darkness will change to light, is the haiku spirit. Haiku has humor and there is a delight in word-play and puns and the comic of life. Haiku can be written on any subject as long as the writer refrains from being demeaning or sarcastic. If there are times and people who need to speak of things in this manner there is the limerick.
Haiku can be seen as too "cool", too heartless, too objective. Yes, but then you have the tanka form which allows the addition of your subjective feelings and emotions. Accept that different poetry forms grew out of different situations and therefore have a built-in stance or spirit or uprightness. Be aware of what you are feeling and chose the proper genre for it.
Writing haiku is a discipline and if you are interested in haiku you are seeking more discipline in your life. Go for it. Make rules for yourself and follow them exactly, or break them completely, outgrow them and find new ones. We are all students and no one "really" knows how to write a haiku. That, however, does not stop us from trying...

moving into the sun
the pony takes with him
some mountain sha
dow
© Jane Reichhold
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A beautiful article I think. I hope it will inspire you.
 
 
This episode is NOW OPEN for your submissions and will remain open until August 14th at noon (CET). Have fun!
 
 

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Carpe Diem Special #173 Tom D'Evelyn's essay BASHO AND THE SMACK OF REALITY: A PERSONAL ESSAY ON HAIKU


Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

First I have to apologize for being late with our new episode, there were other things (pleasant things) who needed my attention.

Welcome at a new CD Special as I promised you all as i was announcing our third anniversary month that I would have a few surprises for you all and that I had found a few well known haiku poets to participate in our third anniversary.
This CD Special is awesome I think and I hope it will inspire you all to write wonderful new verses. Maybe you can remember our special feature "Just Read", well this CD Special is quit the same as that special feature. Tom D'Evelyn has written an awesome essay especially for Carpe Diem Haiku Kai's third anniversary. I am so proud and honored that he would do that for us, for me. Thank you Tom for writing this essay, Basho and the smack of reality: A personal essay on haiku.
have fun reading it and of course I hope it will inspire you all to write wonderful haiku ...

Tom D'Evelyn
BASHO AND THE SMACK OF REALITY: A PERSONAL ESSAY ON HAIKU

First I want to thank  Chèvrefeuille @carpediemkai for suggesting I write something for this special 3rd anniversary edition. I had more or less neglected haiku since the close of Single Island Press, where I was managing editor. But I continued to write lyrics that drew on styles and themes discovered in Chinese T’ang poets, the very poets Basho learned so much from. This essay has four parts: 1. the human situation in which we all find ourselves in; 2. Basho’s response to the human situation; 3. Haiku, Basho, and the understanding of “the between”; 4. My interest in the Basho tradition. With a sampling of recent haiku.

I

In his poem “The Anchor’s Long Chain” (I cite the translation by Beverly Brie Brahic published in PN Review 224), Yves Bonnefoy meditates on a megalithic monument found in southern Sweden: “59 boulders arranged in the shape of a ship” according to the editorial note. It is a poem about limits and thresholds. “Why must / Something within us lure our minds / In this crossing our words attempt / All unknowing, towards the other shore?”

Credits: Ale's Stones
Haiku addresses this perennial question: why must “something within us” provoke an incomprehensible attempt “of our words”  to cross to “the other shore”? Why do we conceive of human space as having that dynamic shape, oriented by the “other shore”? Haiku as I understand it STARTS here. This is the orientation of the form. Because of the elegant simplicity of the structure of haiku, the question remains open; what I shall call the “tension” between the contingencies of the narrative and the “other” aspect of necessity (the “kigo” or universal element) keeps the question from closing. Like the megalithic monument, the little poem reminds us of our fate on the earth.

That’s one aspect: the empty, the incomplete and incompletable. In addition, there’s haiku’s fullness. In the image that results from the tension built into the haiku, there is a non-verbal experience of “just so-ness.” In their own way haiku “click” as Yeat’s demanded of his lyrics. The tension is preserved but a sense of “immanence” is exuded from the precision of the specifics of word choice, rhythm, visual imagery, and so on. This is the origin of the variously described “moment” or “ah-hah” exhalation.


II

In the past, I have taught haiku, written polemically about contemporary haiku, and published, as managing editor of a small press, contemporary haiku for two years, but right now for me haiku means Basho. For the purpose of this essay, I will cite the presentation of Basho by Sam Hamill in Narrow Road to the North and Other Writings (Shambhala 2000).

In the brief but compact and eloquent Introduction, Hamill makes several points that sum up arguments about Basho that I’ve seen expressed at greater length by Jane Reichhold, David Barnhill, Peipei Qiu, Makoto Ueda, Haruo Shirane, and others – it really is a fine time to be reading Basho!

Here are some of the points made by Hamill.

1.       “Basho, among the most literate poets of his time, seems to be everywhere in the presence of history.”

2.       His “literary and spiritual lineage” included medieval Japanese writers and Chinese T’ang poets. What we call “ethics” (first and foremost, compassion) was inseparable from Basho’s literary pursuits. He devoted years to “making new” the Tang poets and Chuang Tzu.

3.       Basho’s poetry exhibits an acute sense of the unity of meaning and sound. Various kinds of what we call “rhyme” are a hallmark of his literary style.

4.        The sound of a haiku did not depend on counting units. He said that if even one syllable sounds stale in your mouth, “give it all your attention.”

5.       As he grew older, his style became simpler. “He wanted to make images that positively radiated with reality.”

Basho’s haiku are densely woven of differences, similarities, comparisons and contrasts: they are “tense” with the sometimes conflicting aspects of his world. Here’s a haiku Hamill presents in The Poetry of Zen (Shambhala 2007):

Now a cuckoo’s song / carries the haiku master / right out of this world (p 151)

Hamill’s use of key “pre-fab” phrases – “now,” “haiku master,” “right out of this world” – delivers the narrative as a kind of humorous insight. The lightness, the product of years of experimentation by Basho, may bely the complexity of tone. Eventually, one sees that the poem participates in what it describes: Basho himself wrote often of the “otherness” of the cuckoo’s song. We may call this “irony,” but it is more than that: it is a structural doubleness which leads to a surprise that itself illuminates reality: the cuckoo’s song AS otherworldly. Philosophers might call this “immanent transcendence.”


III

Traditional haiku – let’s call it Zen haiku – seems resistant to the consolations of certainty: ideological, patriotic, sentimental, religious. Every thing is touched by mortality. The paradox of empty/fullness aptly pertains to haiku. This may mislead the reader to thinking that Basho is “secular” in our sense. As Hamill shows, Basho was in his own way devout, a serious student of Taoist Buddhism or Zen as practiced by the Chinese T’ang poets; and he studied as they did, the Taoist master Chuang Tzu. As Hamill shows, Basho’s studies made him familiar with a sense of the Tao as a creative no-thing and with the doctrine of co-dependence of all things.

Credits: Alan Spence
Among contemporary writers, the Scottish poet and novelist Alan Spence writes in the Zen tradition. This is from Glasgow Zen (Canongate 2002).

Krishna Consciousness
(young devotee selling CDs)

As well as being
Totally transcendental
It’s damn good dance.

The fact that this is a proper English sentence lacking only a comma (perhaps the Scot in him rebelled against the comma--there are good reasons for avoiding punctuation in haiku) should not keep us from feeling the haiku movement amongst the themes. Essential to the classic haiku is a contrast between the universal and the particular, the necessary and the contingent: here “totally transcendental” is an (ironic) universal reference and the final line expresses the particularity of a given happening. How often I ran into, sometimes literally, such dancers in Berkeley in the 70s. Spence’s haiku captures the poignance and comedy—the “universality” -- of the moment. The flow of the poem, as is customary for the form, moves toward the particular; this way haiku participates in the quest for “luminous things” and “radiant particulars” and so on. The tension between the “transcendental” and the “damn good” dance is the point: the point is a tension.

The haiku moment, we may say, has this architecture. In a time when massive anxiety creates a hunger for certainty,  haiku reminds us of the “between” situation we find ourselves in, a situation in which consciousness must remain open to the other and forego reductive speculations. Rather than ideology, scientism, fundamentalism of various kinds, haiku is the other way.

Basho’s intellectual and spiritual interests as embodied in haiku remind me of the philosophy of the metaxy. The “metaxy” points to the space “between” (metaxu is an ancient Greek term meaning between) the extremes of human experience: certainty and doubt, bliss and agony, contentment and anxiety.  But in that tension there is a movement beyond a mindset: the lived space is a tension and oriented to the beyond which maintains its shape and direction. In the Zen tradition, the only mindset is meditative, open to the mind’s own emptiness and the paradoxical overflow from the dark enigma. In the tradition of the between, “the void is fertile.” The metaxy is profoundly imaginative as a response to the ambiguity of human existence.

Scene from Basho's Oku No Hosomichi, The Narrow Road Into The Deep North

Basho’s ethos of compassion is rooted in reality as the “space” we share with all other “things”:  creatures, animate and inanimate. All these things participate in the drama of coming to be and passing away. The between is saturated with wonder that there is anything at all: no myths of origins are allowed to replace this wonder. If not a-theistic (and traditionally the metaxy is a sacred liminal space contemplated in meditation), this space is not subject to dogmatic interpretation. To understand it is to feel the movement of mind towards an unknown threshold, sometimes death, sometimes identification with another created thing. Indeed, astonishment that there are “things” out there – this zero-grade wonder at otherness -- grows into restless questioning, the equivocal leading to the polyvocal, the appreciation of a variety of points of view; and that restlessness finally yields to an almost liturgical gratitude for existence for all its sadness and rigors and conundrums. The “third image” produced by the tension between the contingent situation of the haiku and the enduring element is non-verbal but very much the essence of the haiku. (In a longer poem, say Bonnefoy’s “The Anchor’s Long Chain,” this “third image” may be fleshed out in a symbol of the tension: “The bird looks out to sea, listens, hopes, / It guides the ship, and others, others . . . .”

Basho’s final art of lightness, his “comic genius,” is definitive for the form at its most penetrating. That’s a personal judgment, I suppose, and of course I don’t mean to suggest that Basho is the only great haiku poet. But his haiku are extraordinary and yet ordinary and representative. I only wish to suggest some reasons for this. We can’t avoid his practice of haiku as a “spiritual exercise” (to use Pierre Hadot’s phrase).  Hamill speaks of Basho’s life as “a lifetime of consciously perfecting his practice of both Zen and poetry, indeed of making them one seamless practice” (The Poetry of Zen 95).

The haiku way is demanding. I have found a way into Basho’s achievement by studying the metaxy. Honoring the “between” nature of experience, we may be tempted to deify certain moods or emotions. The meditative concentration required of the haiku way eventually leads to a personal “creative” act that takes a lot of practice to perfect. As many have observed the cliché “haiku moment” refers to a meditative act of attention which connects the poem to something beyond the poet. Personal originality is not the aim. Desmond writes, “Creation is not a matter of merely asserting one’s originality but of being honest about recalcitrant otherness, grappling with the fluid original power of our being, turning it from amorphous force to forceful form.” (The William Desmond Reader, 154).

Credits: Creation
Holding one’s inner attention on “the fluid original power of our being” as experienced in terms of an “other” – a dancing Krishna kid, a butterfly, the viscous sheen on gaseous effluvia in the modern city – that requires practice. The poems of Basho are there on the page, as “forceful forms” that shape our energies just as Basho engaged “the fluid original power of our being.” Is this saying too much? Perhaps Sam Hamill’s personification of haiku as “a great spiritual teacher” is more acceptable. In the “Translator’s Introduction” to The Sound of Water: Haiku by Basho, Buson, Issa, and Other Poets (Shambhala 1995), Hamill writes: “Haiku should be approached with a daily sort of reverence, as we might approach an encounter with a great spiritual leader. It is easy to imitate, it is difficult to attain. The more deeply the reader enters into the authentic experience of the poem, the more the poem reveals” (xiv).

IV

The following haiku were all written after I said yes to the editor of this journal, who wouldn’t take no for an answer to his request to provide something for this special edition. Indeed, I am grateful to him for making me return to haiku after I left my home in Portsmouth, New Hampshire for Portland Or. While in Portsmouth, I regularly wrote “Chinese” lyrics and they are archived at metaxysongs.com. Here’s an example, written in our last winter in New Hampshire.

old ice whets the wind__I do a double take
a seagull rides in__a belated snowflake

pluperfect light__nothing stands in this gale
baffled and blown about__light beyond the pale

The medial caesura—the odd underscore in the middle of each line – “refers” to both the structure of the Chinese couplet and to the origins of English meter in Old English versification (Beowulf, etc.) Syntax is open: the phrases relate forwards and backwards, sometimes both ways at once; this in imitation of the relativity of the metaxy. The sense of rhyme is playful and ornate but creates webs of reference which I could not otherwise have sustained in these open-ended structures. These lyrics are meant to be “sung” or spoken or chanted. To write these “Chinese” poems I drew on Anglophone poets’ creative responses to the originals (e.g. Ezra Pound), as well as on contemporary Taoist literature, often of high philosophical quality. Finally I drew on various translations of the ancient texts, especially the work of David Hinton. Hinton’s monumental work (see Classical Chinese Poetry, 2008) has created a new watershed of awareness of how moving this poetry can be for us today.

In writing these haiku, which for those who know the pond songs may suggest a falling off of creative energy, I have depended on a mental stance learned writing the pond songs, an “emptiness” which is also paradoxically a kind of fullness. Above all, in the spirit of Basho, I hope they smack of reality.

What follows is the beginning of a book of haiku that is modeled on the book of epigrams as practiced in antiquity and in the Renaissance. The point of the book is to reveal the variety, depth, incoherence, superficiality, inanity, and wonder of the real world as experienced by the author. We’ll see how it goes. I can well understand the reader who feels that after traipsing over the mountain of this essay, they deserve a bit more than the mouse they get here. I hope it won’t seem disingenuous to note that disappointment is part of haiku’s comic aesthetic!



BOISE HAIKU

these are not
boxed epiphanies epiphanies
can’t be boxed


between us now
all that remains
is the poem


cedar chips everywhere
the emptiness of summer
is now complete


the sun goes behind
a cloud I remove my hat
and enjoy the sun


Credits: Juniper Bonsai

under the juniper
the page fills with dry juniper twigs
not poems


the haiku I write
sipping sake do not compare
with the sake


down these alleyways
how many seasons of plums pears
American dreams


waiting for the bus
after taking the red-eye home
full moon at dawn


once the mountain
is in view I sit down
in its shade


first school bus
and to think I had grown tired
of books


of all the gates
I noticed the one I didn’t notice
has opened


I’d sit on my hat
as I take in the view
but it’s raining


occupying the seat
next to me my backpack wonders
why we are sitting around


no ideas but in things
my friends all tell me
but I have dreams


how cozy
the sound of the traffic
now that it’s raining


Labor Day
I join the crowds celebrating
our need to celebrate


this land is your land
overhead the contrail of a jet
feathers


ah religion
the breath you’d have me control
beauty takes away


I almost said
it’s too cool for the wasp
to join me at breakfast.


Tom D'Evelyn

Tom D'Evelyn is a private editor and writing tutor in Portland OR and, thanks to the web, across the US and in the UK. D'Evelyn has a PhD in Comparative Literature from UC Berkeley. Before retiring he held positions at The Christian Science Monitor, Harvard University Press, Boston University and Brown University. He ran a literary agency for ten years. Tom's own weblog Haiku Eschaton worth a visit.

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Wow what a wonderful essay. I hope you all did like the read and that this essay will inspire you to write haiku, tanka or other Japanese poetry forms.

I must say ... I am stunned ... that stunned that couldn't come up with an all new haiku myself. I hope you can come up with a haiku ... no prompt or theme this time, just the essay to use to write/compose your haiku. Have fun!

This episode is NOW OPEN for your submissions and will remain open until October 15th at noon (CET). I will try to publish our new episode, Saint Patrick's Day, later on. For now ... have fun, be inspired and share your haiku with us all.

 

Monday, December 22, 2014

Carpe Diem "Just Read ..." Bridges by Jim Kacian


Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

I have another nice article written by Jim Kacian. This article "Bridges" is a Key Note speech which Jim gave in 2007 for the Haiku North America International Conference in Winston-Salem, NC. I think it's an awesome article .... so enjoy the read and maybe it will inspire you to write more (or better) haiku .....


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Keynote Speech given at the Haiku North America International Conference 2007 (Winston-Salem, NC ); published as “The Haiku Hierarchy,” Modern Haiku 39(1), Spring 2008, pp. 23-45; later in White Lies: The Red Moon Anthology of English-Language Haiku, Red Moon Press, 2008, pp. 111-136.

Bridges
Jim Kacian

So here we are.
Thank you, Dave, and thank you, fellow poets, for the opportunity to speak with you today here in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, at the 9th Haiku North America, entitled Bridges. I'd like to dedicate this talk to the memory of Agnes Davidson (1917-2007).

* * *
Haiku, as all of you here assembled already know, is an island, and we its inhabitants. For a long time it seemed to be an isolani—that is, a lonely speck of land far away from any other, the Pitcairn of western poesy—but lately, perhaps because the air is clearing, it now seems much closer to other specks of land, and even to the mainland.

It's a small island, located, as we now can see, in the Lesser Anthologies, and one of the few islands in this sector that still exhibits evidence of life. Our neighbors, equally small, and now mostly submerged, though once much larger and more heavily populated, have names like Sonnet Isle and Villanelle Cay. On a clear day, across our rugged strait, we espy other landmasses: to the west you can make out the archipelago of Free Verse, where it is rumored that the laws of physics do not hold; beyond that there is the shadow of a territory so large that it cannot be crossed in a lifetime—the continent of Prose. Some of our inhabitants claim to have visited these lands, some even to have come from them. But it could be something in the air just as likely, so we don't put too much stock in it.
Despite its size, the island of Haiku is quite multiform. A great variety of flora and fauna dwells here, and it has been closely observed in all its seasons and its eternities, its miracles and mundanities, its mountains and prairies, rivers and deserts, its birds and beasts and gods and men.

We are, for the most part, Robinson Crusoes here, stranded a bit at first but soon quite at home. Perhaps initially we didn't meet many of our fellow inhabitants, but now we hold conferences and are likely to email or text message one another to share our latest thoughts and work, so things seem much less secluded than they once did. Most of us have arrived here in boats of our own making—rafts, really, enough to keep us afloat so long as the water doesn't turn too turbulent, and holding no real promise of returning us from whence we came.
As you know, the water in these parts is extraordinary: clear, calm, benign, teeming with life, rich in phosphorescence. This is the sort of island of which the millions who do not know the Lesser Anthologies might only dream. It's the sort of place where it's possible to while away the days without boredom, endlessly engaged, endlessly at ease. Most of us here have no inclination to leave, even if we could.

But lately there's been some talk of the most sensational sort. There's rumor of a bridge being built from the mainland to Haiku, and should it ever come, it will bring to us, as you might well imagine, all manner of people. Thoreau once wrote, “Nothing is more revolutionary than a road.” Fellow inhabitants of Haiku, I ask you, are you prepared for this?
I know what pride we natives of Haiku take in our island. I know it will be difficult to see our native goods taken up in the hands of newbies and know-nothings, handled, soiled, put back on the shelf. I know that none of us wishes to be the T-shirt vendor in paradise. But we've all seen this happen on islands where the natives had not properly prepared. I think a bit of planning beforehand is in order to make certain that things work out for the best for our beloved island as well as for ourselves.

In thinking about what sort of a plan we might choose, I found myself dwelling a good deal on our national pastime here on Haiku—the game of baseball. I know you all know about baseball—every kid in Haiku at one time or another plays the game, and even those who play little or poorly come to know many of its finer points. Baseball aspires to more than national fame, though: away from our island, it holds an annual conference of its own which it calls the World Series.
Everyone knows what baseball is, but in case anyone's been away for a while, perhaps I should offer a definition. Baseball is a sport played between two teams of nine players (excepts when it's fewer, or more, as in the American League). One of the players, a pitcher, on one team throws a ball that is 91/4 inches in circumference (except when it's smaller), and 5 ounces (except when it's lighter) from a mound (that is, a hill raised 10 above the playing surface, except when it's more or less, and at a distance of 60' 6 except when it's less) toward a batter on the opposing team. The batter attempts to hit the baseball with a tapered cylindrical bat made of wood (unless it's made of something else, like aluminum). A team scores runs only when batting, by advancing its players counterclockwise past a series of four markers called bases arranged at the corners of a ninety-foot square (unless it's smaller). The game, played without time restriction, is structured around nine segments called innings (unless there are fewer, or more).

So, there you have it—baseball made simple.
* * *
And yet, in spite of this dither, the multiple exceptions, the provisos, the special considerations, we all are pretty much agreed that we know baseball when we see it. In fact, we're sure of it.

Part of the reason for this is that baseball is sure of itself. It has no problem when the same name is applied to all its variations—in fact, it encourages it. So whether it's played by six-year-old girls hitting off a tee or by grown men in the night heat of August, it's all baseball. Except, of course, when played by beer-drinking men on Sunday afternoons, when it's called, euphemistically, softball. This, you may recall, is the national sport of our sister island Senryu.
One of the reasons for baseball's autonomy is that it controls the reward systems of the game. This means not only that baseball's overarching hierarchy makes provision for the various levels of play—T-ball, Little League, Babe Ruth League, High School, College, the professional Minor Leagues, and of course the Major Leagues—but also recognizes the outstanding accomplishments of each of these groups on their own level, without confusing these accomplishments with anything done on any other level. Baseball accomplishment is a pyramid: of the millions who play T-ball, some will not achieve the level necessary to play Little League ball; some Little Leaguers will not make a Babe Ruth roster; some of these will fail to make their High School teams; and so on, up to the Major Leagues. In fact, at any given time, only 720 players are playing in the Major Leagues. So it's not idle when we recognize this level of accomplishment as the highest there is.

Beyond this, baseball has a sense of its own history. Not only is it busy lauding the accomplishments of its current players, it is keen to compare them to the best players of previous eras. Baseball has done a very good job of taking control of their product, telling people what is important about it and who has done the best at it, and letting people aspire to achieve in these same ways.
And perhaps the most important factor in baseball's certainty is that it has the authority for baseball wholly vested in itself. There is no other entity claiming to be baseball in opposition to it. This hasn't always been the case, of course—upstart leagues have come and gone. What baseball has done very successfully is to have folded the competition into itself, to enlarge itself to accommodate a larger vision of what baseball could be. This has worked so well that now nobody can even imagine usurping its hegemony. Instead, people aspire to be a part of it, or to innovate within it. All the conversation is on baseball's terms.

All of this permits baseball to ask the right questions and supply the right answers. Baseball doesn't ask, for instance, “Is this baseball?” but rather “What level of baseball is this?” And because it can give a clear answer to this question, it can manage all the various ways it's played and still keep everything within its realm.
* * *
Okay, we didn't come here to talk about baseball. What does this have to do with haiku?

When the bridge is built, and we are overrun by newbies and know-nothings, some of them will insist they know all about our island. How we meet them on our side of the bridge will largely determine how the conversation will go. If we have control of the situation, we will help people come to a larger understanding of what we do. If not, we will be the T-shirt vendors. The choice is simple.
So here's what I propose:

I propose that we take control of our island in the very way baseball has taken control of its domain.
To begin, we should control the system of rewards for haiku, something that we've done quite poorly in the past. For instance, you would think that the top monetary prize in a haiku contest would be awarded by a haiku organization—but it's not. The top prize is offered by the Samhain Poetry Group, a mainstream poetry organization in Ireland. Prize money offered by haiku organizations is usually scarcely more than nominal. And you might think that the top haiku each year would be the most disseminated around the world. But because the indigenous publications of our island tend to stay on the island and reach only coterie audiences, poems published in non-haiku periodicals such as the Christian Science Monitor and the New York Times receive much greater distribution. It's true that haiku does have such awards for best publications and lifetime service—the Haiku Society of America's Merit Book Awards and the Sora Award. But these are the offerings of only one small group, and are publicized so poorly that often our own inhabitants haven't even heard of the awards, never mind who received them. Clearly we have abdicated authority so far as reward is concerned.

If we were better organized, if we pooled our resources, perhaps we could make more of a collective splash. We would, of course, have to come to more of an agreement as to what we consider excellent, what we consider a fit reward, and how it recognition of such success might be better disseminated. This is asking a lot of us, since we on this island are not essentially political or even joiners. Yet here we are, gathered together, and what we might do as a group is far more powerful than what any one of us might do individually.
Next, we need to have a better sense of our history. We people of Haiku have long had a modest streak, and while this may be personally attractive, the truth is it tends to diminish awareness of our accomplishments. This doesn't mean we don't privately acknowledge the achievements of a John Wills or Raymond Roseliep, but we still have difficulty granting them a similar status to the Japanese masters. In fact, even the word Master is difficult for us to say, especially for fellow islanders still living. But this really works to our disadvantage. In the baseball world, there may be some disagreement about who the best player is: is it Albert Pujols, Barry Bonds, Ichiro Suzuki, Alex Rodriguez? Good arguments could be made for each of them. But absolutely nobody would hesitate to acknowledge them all as masters.

In fact, they are all so good that we can expect each of them to someday be enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame. This is a place where only the best of the best will be commemorated, along with the history of the game and the paraphernalia attendant upon it. Inclusion here is the attainment of a dream first held by its recipients when they were at the bottom rung of that pyramid, in their infant days in the sport. It is the ultimate incentive and the ultimate attainment the sport has to offer.
Our island has nothing like this, so what may the natives of Haiku seek? Well, many things, of course: education, publication, travel, fame, literary acknowledgment, mastery. All these things might be embodied by a Haiku Hall of Fame. We have the beginnings of such things: Brooks Books has released two volumes in a series dedicated to preserving the legacy of our best writers. Red Moon Press will release in the next twelve months its first volume in the American Haiku Masters series. And of course there is the American Haiku Archives, and soon a second archive to be founded at Rutgers University. But books, though critically important, are not enough: we need a mental and, preferably, a physical space dedicated to our interest, which houses books, of course, but also commemorates the activities of haiku. Ideally it would be a place where we could walk, think, read, write, meditate, where we might spend some time in pursuit of haiku and which is dedicated to no other activity. No amount of books demonstrates the acknowledged authority of a cause so much as a single building dedicated to its pursuit. This is a dream that can only be realized if enough of us dream it.

And while we need this physical space on our island, we need, too, the mental space in each of us. We need all of us to be conversant, casually and without hesitation, with the masters and the masterstrokes of our cause. We need to be able to quote, immediately and with conviction, and with free explanation, the best haiku we know. We need this as we need to breathe because when the newbies and know-nothings arrive, they will ask. We need to know what it is we know, and we need to impart it with authority.
These are things we can put in place now, before the bridge is built, and simpler for that. After all, haiku, too, are bridges, means to help others cross over to where we ourselves have crossed. The more we have in place, the more certain the landscape of the island, the more certain will be our command of the situation.

When we greet people at the bridge—and I do suggest we greet them—we should be ready to recognize all the different forms of haiku as part of our domain. We should be as inclusive as possible. We should make everyone who has ever put pen to paper and called the result haiku welcome, acknowledge that they are one of the tribe, admit them to the island as full-fledged-members. We lose nothing by doing this, and gain everyone's good will from the start.
But this doesn't mean that we have to abandon our standards of excellence. Critical to this general welcome is that we behave in a fashion that is authoritative, that welcomes all efforts but which is capable of telling Little League from Major League haiku. This is not difficult for us islanders—in fact, we do it all the time. Who amongst us has not decried the poor work we see in the popular media and public places as inferior to what we see regularly in the haiku journals? Even so, let us embrace all this work, good and bad, recognize it as haiku indeed, but let us keep for our own domain the understanding of quality. Nobody gets to the Big Leagues without working their way up through the minors.

* * *
Which brings me to my final suggestion. If we are to be inclusive, as well as the arbiters of excellence, we must have a firm understanding of just what it is we value. How do we convey, in a way that is clear and without special pleading, those values that make haiku special to those who are new to such things? To answer this question, I've written a book called The Haiku Hierarchy. It's now in the hands of a publisher, and time will tell. The hope is that such a book will be published in time for the first wave of newcomers to read before they cross the bridge. It's a fairly long book, since it has to develop from first principles, which takes time. But because we islanders already share much of what must be said, I can give you a quick overview.

The book is laid out in three parts. The first part begins where it must, when dealing with newbies—it suggests the many things that haiku has been and can be. I avoid an ultimate definition, like the baseball definition, since even today one of you will write a haiku that would not fall within any definition's reach. In lieu of such a definition, I consider the three unfailing elements of every haiku—form, content, and style—as well as the relationship between them. These matters are commonplace for us, so I that's all the time I'll spend on it here.
The second part creates a system of evaluation. Once we recognize a haiku when we see one, we'd like to know just how good it is: is it worth the study of newbies and others, or not? In order to answer this question, I've created a scale that helps make such evaluations. In the book I go into some considerable detail and with numerous examples, but here I'll just give you an overview.

The scale is laid out in three parts—one each for the three elements form, content and style—with a bonus section for special considerations. It's possible to score from zero to three points in each part—zero for not using an element or using it incorrectly, one for ordinary usage, two for usage that has a significant impact on the poem, and three for usage that has a significant impact on the genre. Take form, for instance—it may be simple to decide if a poem has seventeen syllables or not, or is in a short-long-short structure, or any of the other normative models. It's more difficult to assess whether the form chosen is the most suitable one for that particular poem, and more difficult yet to decide what effect this usage might have on genre-wide practice. Content is much harder than form to evaluate, and style, which includes technique, word choice, image order, sensibility and much more, harder yet. Once each element is considered, we total the points of the three categories and so arrive at a numerical rating.

Matsuo Basho (1644-1694)
To illustrate how this works, let's take an example:
kare-eda ni karasu no tomari keri aki no kure

Autumn evening;
A crow perched
On a withered bough.

© Basho (trans. R. H. Blyth, Haiku Volume 3, p. 898)


We all know this poem, and most would agree it's a masterpiece. I refer, of course, to the Japanese original, not necessarily the translated version. But the English poem is the only version most of us know. How do these two versions fare in the rating system?
Had we come to this from Part 1 of the book, we would have no difficulty identifying these poems as haiku because we would now recognize their form—both in three lines, one of the accepted norms, though neither is 5-7-5. The Japanese version is an erratic, turning up as a 5-9-5, for a total of 19, on. Blyth's version is not even short-long-short. Still both are easily identified, seeming simply to be making use of predetermined norms and filling them in, more or less accurately.

In the English version, the enjambment seems to work in the usual fashion—in fact, it makes an active verb of “perched” where it might be read as passive if the second line was simply “A crow”. But there is no particular surprise or resonance generated by this activation, or from delaying the appearance of the final image. This is a more or less garden-variety haiku in form, and it receives one point in this category—recognizable and competent, not more. The same is true of the original—since the norms for this style of verse were well established by the time Basho wrote it, there was no great loss by varying the count to accommodate clearer meaning. His readers would still recognize it as a hokku. We'll grant this one point as well.
In terms of content they are also recognizably haiku—they are nature poems, one of the accepted norms. They use a season word—in fact, name a season—a second norm. Most importantly, the images of the poems speak readily with one another. This sympathetic relating of image to image—in short, the content—is the original's greatest immediate and emotional appeal, and these images work as well in English as they do in Japanese. There is something almost universal in the bleakness conjured here. This might be seen a greater accomplishment in the original, but the translator did find terms to communicate this same affect, so we'll not quibble. Both poems receive twos for content.

This leaves style, and there is much to consider. To begin we note that the poems use what has become the gold standard of technique for haiku, juxtaposition. This is, no doubt, the basis for the poem's success in English. When we consider the other elements the translator has used, we don't note any particularly outstanding attributes. The way the poem is set out is a bit prosaic: setting, full stop; activity, enjambed line but with no real energy to it, phrase for enhancement. In fact, it is like many thousands of other haiku we may find around the world. The English version here again merits one point.
But the Japanese version is quite different. For one thing, the order of events is reversed: here in the original it is the leafless branch we first see, then the crow, and only at the end is the season made explicit. A more accurate translation might be something like “on a leafless branch a crow alights—autumn evening.” And in this version, by withholding the seasonal aspect until the end, the poet lets the full impact of the scene flow into the reader's imagination first, so we already have a sense of bleakness before we know the season or time of day. In this context, that “autumn night” feels like the hand of doom, and the effect is magnified many times over.

But that's not the poet's only stylistic achievement. He also piles up the “k” and “r” sounds—kare, karasu, tomari, keri, aki, kure—like a knocking at the door (which would bring Poe to mind in our culture). This very effective alliteration heightens the impact of the poem, something that is entirely missing from the translation. Basho's original poem gets a full three in the technique category, one of the reasons it is so highly esteemed.
But there is something more to this poem, too, which helps raise it above so many others. This is a singularly important poem in terms of Basho's style. Heretofore he had composed most of his verse in the Danrin style that is characterized by puns and wit. This poem, a serious, refined and evocative poem relying on images and emotion, is a renunciation of that style, and the beginning of shofu, the poet's mature style of composition. So this poem receives an extra point for its value in terms of the history of haiku.

And there's more yet: in this poem, Basho alludes to waka and Chinese poems from earlier eras, a heretofore uncommon inclusion that was to mark much of his later poetry and have a lasting effect on the way the genre was pursued. So let's add another point for that.
When we add it all up, we find that Blyth's poem is a four: one for form, two for content, one for style. This is quite a good score, and if we looked through the contemporary journals we would find many poems with much the same feel and accomplishment. This is partly because we have learned so much from Blyth that has elevated the standard of our writing. But the Japanese poem is so much more, and the scale reveals this: a full eight—one for form, two for content, three for style, and two bonus points for innovative additions to the genre. We can see the esteem in which this poem is held is justified.


By way of contrast let's consider a poem originally written in English and not considered a classic. How about this one:
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.


© David Dixon

Actually, this poem is quite famous in its own domain, one of the Big Blue Haiku that were ubiquitous on the internet at the end of the 80s. Of course it's a haiku—its form is unmistakable. So how does it rate on the scale?
If you're like me, this is something of an acid test. If a classic Basho poem in translation scores four on this scale, we would want this poem, which is obviously so much less, to score less well. If they are close, then the scale is not well adjusted. So let's see.

Form: anything special about it? I would say no, it uses one of the accepted norms, in this case the 5-7-5. But it doesn't use it innovatively or to greater purpose. It's just used in the “that's what a haiku's supposed to look like” way, which gets it one point.
Content: pleasant and funny enough to agree that it actually has content, though it's far from classical in its aspirations. But still, one point.

Style: anything here? Not that I can see in terms of technique, word choice, or word order—it's just prose arranged to meet the syllable requirement. And though it is possible to argue that it is possessed of a sensibility, in that it elicits a geek ethos commensurate with the time and conditions of its creation, I think this is a stretch, and would have to say no, and give it a zero in this category.
Summing up, then: that would be two points. And this, I probably don't need to point out, is where most such poems are going to end up. This seems fair: it took a great deal more talent and vision to come up with kare-eda ni than it did to come up with “Three things are certain.” It's only right, and a relief, that the scale make this obvious. Once we can recognize and rank haiku, and have looked at a few hundred of them, we begin to recognize types. These types constitute the Haiku Hierarchy. The Haiku Hierarchy is the organization of haiku poets into achievement levels—it recognizes the Little Leagues and Minor Leagues and Major Leagues of haiku, and is ultimately the basis for our own Haiku Hall of Fame.

* * *
Like baseball, the Haiku Hierarchy is a pyramid, and like baseball, the vast majority of its participants will play on these lowest, broadest levels. Like baseball, each successive step is characterized by its greater degree of difficulty, and effectively winnows out those who cannot perform at the higher level. And like baseball, only a very few at any given time will be seen to be performing at the very highest level.

The Haiku Hierarchy is divided into seven levels. The first three are grouped together by the fact that they are each concerned with the acquisition of a single element: the first with form, the second, content, and the third, style. The resulting poems we may consider T-ball or Little League haiku. As we all started here, we should recognize our own journey toward mastery in these first efforts.
If you think back, you'll recollect how complicated haiku seemed at first, how many rules there were, how uncertainty dogged our every move. We first encounter haiku as a series of problems to be solved, and so I call this first stage Haiku as Problem. Whether we are self-taught or have a teacher, a goodly amount of our time is first spent considering other matters—counting, observing, vocabulary, syntax, and so on. If a little poetry sneaks into the poem as well, so much the better. All things considered, it's not really a bad way to start—it provides very concrete goals that can be objectively met. And after all, it didn't hinder any of us from learning more.

Here's a haiku composed by a fourth grade class following a lesson plan:
A tree? A moose? Which?
Crooked antlers? Thick branches?
Clumsy movement—moose!


We can imagine that lesson plan without ever having seen it: “write a poem in three-lines, the first line containing 5 syllables, the second 7 and the third 5 more. If you can, use images from nature. Write it in the present tense.” And the class has solved this set of problems, and not without a certain charm, though utterly without anything we might call poetry. It's simply an exercise in problem. A quick evaluation using the rating scale will recognize this general lack of quality: 1 for form, a generous 1 for content, zero for technique, a total of 2. This sort of poem is just what we would expect from an introductory lesson on haiku in grade school. Of course it isn't only the young who write such poems, merely the young in haiku.
If haiku is a series of problems, why don't we get some help? Why don't we program a computer to learn the form and supply words to create haiku. And of course this has been done. The computer is a whiz at following instructions. One thing we can say with absolute certainty—computer-generated haiku will never receive less than a 1 for form. All such poems will be 5-7-5, with no anomalies. But these poems will never use the form innovatively or strikingly, so they will never receive more than a 1, either. So the rest of their value will have to come from content and style.

Let's look at one:
barbed melody prowls
softly, weakly, gloating queens
flee, excretions flee


I know some of you are wavering out there—this is just terrible. How can it be a haiku? But it is, and most everyone in the world outside this room would accept it as such instantly and without question. It has perfect form. So we must remember to ask the right question, not is it a haiku, but how good a haiku is it.
And the answer, even without the rating scale, is obviously “not very good”. It gets one point for counting to 17 in the right increments, but content? Zero. And style? If we could give negative points, we would. But let's be kind, let's be inclusive. We'll concede this is a haiku, but one of the most primitive sort—a T-ball haiku.

* * *
Nearly all of us begin our haiku journey with these sorts of concerns over form. Once we have a beginning understanding of it, we can consider other matters, such as what we want to put into it. This second level is called Haiku as Point-of-View.

This is easily the most popular form of haiku in the west. It's what the mainstream media, major publishing houses and users of the internet think haiku is. These are “purpose” poems, and the point of view is of central importance. They are playful, often humorous, usually cultish, and once in a very great while, quite good. They are as far removed from art as greeting cards or paint-by-number kits. And they are, of course, 5-7-5s. Here's an example:

I wait for you to
Clean the rugs. Hack! Hack! Here: my
Best hairball to date.

© Deborah Coates, Cat Haiku


We must concede this is perfect form, and also that it adds something: it makes a coherent statement about its subject, in this case from the point of view of a cat. While we may not value this much, it's certainly better than the computer-generated poem. So this is what has been added—an intended perspective. We can evaluate this, and its ilk, rather quickly. Form: 1, for the same reasons as the earlier examples. Content: this is tough, but I'm in a generous mood, so let's say this really is content of a sort, and give it a point. Style: zero. Before even considering the overt personification, consider the endings of lines: very poorly fitted, obviously a line simply ends when the syllable count fills it up. So this poem, and thousands like it, rates a two. It's not much of an accomplishment, and it will make you weep to learn that this example is taken from a book of like poems published by a large New York publishing house. It is intended to be ephemera, and that's just how we'll treat it, a notch above T-ball haiku, but really Little League stuff.
* * *

Achieving the next level requires some knowledge of both form and content, and then adds something more to it, the element of style. It's called Haiku as Platform. Poets at this level must be aware of how their efforts will affect their readers and listeners. Audience expectation will generally include that they can count syllables—a poet who performs a haiku at a poetry slam that is not 5-7-5 is in jeopardy of being eliminated immediately simply on that basis. So we must allow these poets to play by the rules that give them a chance to win and not count that against them.
There are many considerations to style in haiku: image order, word choice, content relationship, poetic effect, tone, timbre, rhythm, meter, and so on. To reach the third level, a poet must have something to say and a form in which to say it, but also command of a host of tricks that permit the best possible means of getting it said. This is not dissimilar to the lot of writers anywhere. Here's an example of an award-winning performance haiku by the British punk poet John Cooper Clarke:

To convey one's moods
In seventeen syllables
Is very diffic.
This is a wonderful lampoon of the entire haiku enterprise. It's funny because of its surprise ending, of course, which is incomplete but can't fail to be understood. The poet suggests that counting syllables while baring one's soul is too daunting a task. But the poem works because it is so precisely wrong.

The joke is that the content is at odds with the rigidity of the form, but anyone with the least facility could “fix” it. It is the “diffic” which makes the poem memorable, but it is the “very” which sets it up, and which could be quite easily replaced. What could have been simpler than to have said, for instance, “quite difficult”? Nothing diffic about it at all. It's the style—in this case clever word choice—which makes the poem work.
A further assumption of the poem is worth considering as well: it may be difficult to convey one's moods in seventeen syllables—or not—but the poem presumes that this is the purpose of haiku in general, when in fact this is patently not what his poem is about. Instead it's a statement about process. This is both a problem and point-of-view haiku that uses technique cleverly enough to make us remember it. In fact, it's more closely related to aphorism than classical haiku.

As to a rating—one for form, one for content, two for technique: an unusually good poem of its kind.
* * *

In the book I consider other aspects of style as well as forms in which it occurs—extended narratives using 5-7-5, slam haiku, and so forth. There is something happening here that requires a feel for style, though it's not exactly what we most prize in our own work. Nevertheless, we should acknowledge these skills. It's at this level that haiku might begin to interest an audience, just as baseball starts drawing a crowd not comprised solely of parents by the time it reaches Babe Ruth level.
Each of the first three levels focuses on a single element. The next three begin at this point of embarkation. In order to rise higher on the Haiku Hierarchy, a poet must begin to integrate these elements. This requires practice and usually study, so one's relationship to haiku begins to change. What may have begun as an amusement or a dare now becomes a pursuit of the mind. At this point we must recognize what has worked in our haiku so far—and then we must be willing to throw it out. Only those whose needs have not been met by 5-7-5, a confessional mode and a humorous delivery ever bother to go this far. The remaining levels are for those of us who, having heard of this island, crafted our rafts and set out to find this place, not quite believing the rumors of it to be true.

Once we know haiku is large enough to command our energies and interest we begin a revaluation of its elements, along with a study of how they fit together. This shifts haiku from a populist toss-off to a possible poetry.
Each of the next three stages is achieved by following a process. If, for instance, the standard form for haiku when we arrive at the fourth level is 5-7-5, the standard as we're leaving is that there is no standard. It's not enough to arrive at the conclusion that syllables are different than on, and that something shorter in English gives a closer approximation to a haiku in Japanese, etc. etc. This is no less a knee-jerk reaction than 5-7-5. At these next levels, we must consider each poem individually and create the form and content and style that best reveals it.

* * *
Level 4 is called Haiku as Practice. Finding the form that serves each poem best is its basic goal, and once the popular default is seen to be unessential, the range of possibilities is as varied as one's imagination. Even so, there are a few formats which have had greatest usage, and which might be considered norms of the genre. These include the 5-7-5, of course, but also the short-long-short, the 2-3-2, the one-liner, the organic form, and the free form. I discuss each of these in the first part of the book, but as you are all conversant with them I won't here.

The sole purpose of form is to deliver the poem most effectively to the audience. Sometimes one form performs this function better than another. Consider, for example, this poem:

A bright red apple
On the apple's topmost bough —
And a cardinal.




I doubt anyone will argue greatness for this poem, though it did find a publisher. I chose it because it's a very common sort of poem, one we've seen many times in more or less this same package. Later, this poem was reformatted and became

an apple
on the topmost bough
cardinal

The only justification for this change would be that the new format improves the poem. Does it?
To save time, let's agree the content is identical. And let's ignore the small technical advantage the latter holds for the moment. The real question before us is, is the poem better for having dropped its adjectives and conjunction, and so lost its syllable count?

Both versions are easily visualized. In the first version, however, no doubt is left as to the time of year: it must be autumn, since we are told the apple is bright red in the very first line. In the second version, because the adjectives are missing, the reader is not immediately certain what time of year it is. This omission, combined with dropping the conjunction and article in the third line, creates an ambiguity that serves the poem well, since the linking of the fruit and the bird becomes subtler and more surprising. In the original version, it is more of a list, while in the later version a truer juxtaposition is attained. In this instance, then, it appears the change in form was a definite improvement, though the poem's success remains modest.
To quickly evaluate them: the original gets one for form, one for content and a grudging one for style for a total of three; the rewritten poem claims two for form, one again for content and style, despite the clever technique of the hinged second line, which allows the poem to be read top to bottom or vice versa, for a total of four. In brief, an ordinary poem, one of hundred such poems we see in the journals, somewhat improved by a closer consideration of form.

* * *
If the fourth level marks the new understanding of and emphasis on form, the fifth level is characterized by a similar emphasis on content. This is called Haiku as Pathway.

Haiku are not just patterns of words—haiku are about something. But what? When we're beginners, they're about anything we want them to be, and usually about ourselves. Along the way we are taught something of the tradition, wherein most haiku have been about nature and our relationship to it, and that the poet rarely appears directly in the poem.
Entering level 5 we might believe that haiku need to follow these rules to be the kind of haiku we find in books. These books create a poetic space in the mind, and cherry blossoms and the cries of deer are the topics to be found in this space. Not surprisingly, we try our hand at these topics, possibly even with success. Nevertheless, the result is an imitation of haiku. The process of level five is to move beyond this inherited content and into personal content out of our own lives.

For example, consider these poems:

A glistening crown
Of blossoming cherry trees earth
In the pale moonlight.

where the sky
touches   
the thunder




Both of these poems were published within the past ten years by poets in Croatia, a country that during this time has been at war and undergoing “ethnic cleansing” on its own soil. We may consider these works to be reactions to these circumstances.
The first poem can be read at least three ways. We can take it to be an hommage, recreating a particular ethos which calls upon an earlier time to set the stage for more current work. We can read it as irony, a knowing wink at an earlier time when literary convention was so precious that poets were restricted to matters such as the blooming of the trees when civil war threatened their lives. This could be seen as a close parallel to the poet's own circumstances. Or we can take it at face value—it's a poem about cherry blossoms written by a 21st century poet as though this were a new insight.

From all indications the poet means to have us read it straight, as though he were a Japanese poet of the 16th century, or an imitative American poet of the 1960s. The fact that alternative readings are available arises directly from the imitative quality of the poem. If such a poem invites confusion, we are well entitled to question its strategy. A great deal of trust must be granted a poet to make something significant of such work, and the poet much work that much harder to earn it. And of course there is the very real possibility he will not.
Compare this with the second poem that also is grounded in natural imagery. Here the response seems to be more local, direct and original, the result being a much more powerful evocation of the poet's specific circumstance. Instead of falling back upon imitation, the poet has found his own voice to express his emotion and experience. The result is a memorable evocation of the poet's experience rather than a masking of that experience through tropes and tradition. Moving from the imitative to the evocative is exactly what the fifth level is about.

There are many other things to say about moving from expected to real content, and in the book I address these matters. Worth noting here is the overcoming of cultic content, especially the zen-inspired poems that have held such sway in western haiku for its first century. Incorporating zen, or any other religious or philosophic or political content, into haiku asks it so serve two masters: itself and poetry, with the usual result being that neither is served adequately. Even Zen haiku's greatest advocate, R. H. Blyth, wrote “I understand Zen and poetry to be practically synonyms, but . . . if there is ever imagined to be any conflict between Zen and the poetry of haiku, the Zen goes overboard; poetry is the ultimate standard.” (Haiku Vol. 1, p. 7) This is certainly good advice to poets who are interested in determining the furthest reaches of where haiku can be taken.
* * *

So we come to the sixth level, which I call Haiku as Plan. It's process is the recognition and overcoming of stylistic defaults we may have picked up on our haiku journey. Style is a very potent element in haiku, as in all art—if we think of form as the shell of the poem, and content as the filling, style is the glue that binds the materials together into a cohesive whole.
There are many contributors to style, and we've mentioned a few of them: word choice, image order, punctuation and enjambment, and so on. Again, I deal with them at length in the book, but will mention here only technique. When we first arrive at this level likely the only technique of which we might be aware is juxtaposition. Juxtaposition holds a deserved place of reverence in the haiku world, but to reduce all haiku to its action is to consider haiku a one-trick pony. More than twenty kinds of tools have been identified as the agencies behind some of the best haiku in the language. Consider for example:

my head in the clouds in the lake

©Ruby Spriggs

This technique is called imagistic fusion, and its particular shorthand is perfectly gauged for the effect the poet had in mind. What if she had instead written, to be more in keeping with simple juxtaposition:
my head
in the clouds—the clouds
in the lake


Not bad—the content is good to begin with. But much of the effect, the vigor, the poetry would be lost by adherence to the wrong tool.

Credits: Clouds
There are thousands more, of course, and you've read and enjoyed them without necessarily thinking about how they worked. In fact, we generally resist explanation, lest we discharge its magic. But this is not magic, and knowing how the trick is done does not diminish poetry's charge. If anything, it deepens the mystery.

* * *
Okay, you've worked your way through the minor leagues. You've acquired the basic skills. You've put in the time studying. You've moved through the processes past default expectations. You're ready to engage haiku on its highest level—you're ready for Haiku as Poetry. Not everyone who aspires to this level will achieve it, because it's not just a matter of knowing all there is to know—you also have to have the gift.

The level-seven chapter of the book is largely a compilation of poems that have all the attributes of mature haiku as well as that frisson, which more than carry them into the realm of mastery. No poem exactly follows any formula of haiku. In each case the poet has made choices from among the range of possibilities to maximize effect. Lesser poets might have needed to match a syllable count, or include a season word, or use an appropriate topic, or stick to juxtaposition. The venturing into the unexpected is part of what makes these poems great.

on this cold

           spring    1

      2    night   3   4

              kittens

                wet

                    5

©  Marlene Mountain

second husband
painting the fence
the same green

© Carol Montgomery

pruning roses
not making money
not spending it

© William Ramsey

another dream beside me in your own

© Jeff Witkin

losing its name
a river
enters the sea

© John Sandbach

why go there
when it's here now?
the Cage exhibit

© R. Grey (USA)

under the pier,
the sea roars in —
a woman, a man

© Jack Galmitz (USA)

When the bridge is built and the waves of newbies arrive upon our shores, show them these poems, but not only these poems. Save these for last. Once they've had the opportunity to learn of other poems, successes and failures, they'll be readier to appreciate the poetry contained here.

Credits: Bridge
So that's what I propose. Let's take charge of haiku, the whole enterprise of it. Let's do a better job of knowing our stuff, of knowing what's great in and about it, of teaching it, of promoting it and bringing to the lives of those who have so far only heard rumors of it, or been exposed only to its minor leagues. The bridge could open any time.

Thank you for your kind attention.

Jim Kacian

Winston-Salem, NC
13 August 2008

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PS.: All the haiku used in this article by Jim Kacian are copyrighted, copyrights belong to the haiku-poets as mentioned after the poems.
PPS. : This article is published with permission of Jim Kacian