Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,
It's so good to read all of your wonderful poetry, but I am behind with commenting, I hope to catch up a.s.a.p.. Also I love to thank you for all of your love sprinkled on me through the comments field of our Kai. I always say that CDHK is a warmhearted family of haiku poets and I feel this warmth every day again.
In this month "Jane Reichhold's Legacy" we will give Jane the tribute she deserves, she was a close friend, but she also was proud on Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. I think CDHK has become this great through her. Jane's spirit will dwell for ever through our Kai.
All the prompts of this month are extracted from Jane's "A Dictionary of Haiku", a modern saijiki (list of kigo or seasonwords). For every kigo/seasonword Jane shares examples and those examples are the haiku or tanka to inspire you all.
Today our prompt is dawn and I think we have seen this prompt earlier here at our Haiku Kai, so if this post is a reprise ... than I offer you my apologies for it.
colors the moon
into the sea
darkness flies from the trees
with the bird
the sound of waves
on you sleeping face
© Jane Reichhold
Three wonderful haiku in which you can find a clear "fragment and phrase" way of writing. It's how Jane explained how haiku has to be in another language than Japanese.
I will try to explain the "fragment and phrase" in the last haiku. And after that maybe you can see the "fragment and phrase" in the other two haiku. "Fragment and phrase" means that every haiku has two parts the "fragment" and the "phrase". These two parts you can HEAR when you read the haiku aloud.
Try it with that third haiku. Well ... did you hear the "break"? The "break" is after the first line "the sound of waves". There is a "natural" stillness after that first line. This is called the "fragment". The second and third line are "one part", "on your sleeping face dawn light". This is called the "phrase".
I hope I explained it well enough. Of course Jane was so much better in explaining the "rules and regulations" of haiku (and tanka).
Now try to find the fragment and phrase in the other two haiku ...
her naked body
glistens from sweat
after a hot night
In this haiku "the fragment and phrase" is in "her naked body" and "glistens from sweat after a hot night"; but it can also be like this: "her naked body glistens from sweat" and "after a hot night". That also is a "fragment and phrase" way of writing haiku.
a rooster crows his sun greet
the silence deepens
the silence deepens
This episode is NOW OPEN for your submissions and will remain open until September 11th at noon (CET). I will try to publish our new episode, riddles, later on. For now ... have fun!
Very well done post! Thanks!ReplyDelete
It's been a long time since I passed through... Just trying some haikuReplyDelete
Nice Haiku's, Yes, I can see what you are saying.ReplyDelete
But I will stay with my Tanka poetry which I'm studying and don't want to get the two mixed up.
Thanks for keeping up with your excellent site.
My favourite time of day - dawnReplyDelete
Carpe Diem Challenge # 1046 Dawn:ReplyDelete
each flake disappearing
in the dark sea