Carpe Diem Tan Renga Challenge Month May 13th: "the cool breeze" by Onitsura

Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

Yesterday (May 12th) we had a nice haiku by Ese, a modern haiku poet, to start our Tan Renga with. Today I have found a nice haiku by Onitsura (1660-1738), a classical haiku poet and a contemporary of Basho, to start the Tan Renga with.

Let me first tell you a little bit about Onitsura.

Onitsura was a distinguished haiku poet in the Edo era who was born as a son of a sake brewer at Itami (Hyogo prefecture) in the first year of Kanbun,1660.
He initially became a disciple of Nishiyama Soin but came to Osaka during the years of Enpo and he developed his own field after years of study to reach the stage which Basho later attained.
He was a man of gentleness and sincerity and made friends with Konishi Raizan.
He respected Basho and called on him to ask after his health a few days before Basho died.

Onitsura died in the 3rd year of Genroku (1738) at Unagidani at age 78.

 

Grave of Onitsura in Osaka

the cool breeze
fills the empty vault of heaven
with the voice of the pine tree

© Onitsura

And I have tried to create the second stanza to make the scene complete, but I don't know if I have succeeded.

the cool breeze
fills the empty vault of heaven
with the voice of the pine tree              © Onitsura

a symphony of nature's music
skylarks join in praising the Lord      © Chèvrefeuille    

Well what do you think? After all I think my stanza makes the scene even more beautiful ... maybe immodest to say, but I think I succeeded.

This episode is open for your submissions tonight at 7.00 PM (CET) and will remain open until May 17th at noon (CET). Our new "hokku" (starting verse) I have already published on our Twitter account. Have fun!