Carpe Diem Haiku Writing Techniques #10, "back to basic"

Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

This week's episode of our Haiku Writing Techniques had to be the first episode I think, but I have chosen to bring this later up in time. As you all know I am not a big fan of the classical way of haiku writing, because I think that our Western languages aren't compatible with the sound units of the Japanese language. A while ago we had the discussion here about the so called "Kanshicho-style" of haiku writing (no syllables, no strict kigo and so on). This "Kanshicho-style" looks very similar with the "free style" of Santoka Taneda which we have discussed in our last episode of Haiku Writing Techniques.

Those family members who are here a long time, almost from the start of CDHK, know that we have had a special feature titled "Back to Basic" in which the goal was to write a haiku following the classical rules ...

Why do I have to do this episode? Well ... it's not a must or something, but just to bring it again under your attention that there are classical rules. There have been a lot of rules during the history of haiku which came and which were lost, and came back again ...  like the waves.
I just love to share an episode about these classical rules. First I will start with a haiku by Basho, which you all will know for sure:

Furu ike ya / kawazu tobikomu / mizu no oto

Old pond
frogs jumped in
sound of water

© Basho

As we look at the Japanese (romaji) vertaling than we see that Basho followed the 5-7-5 onji (sound-unit) -rule, the most important rule of haiku. The English translation follows that rule not as you can see in both translations above. It's really not possible to translate a Japanese haiku into another Western language following that rule. If you do try that the "haiku" looks a bit artificial as e.g. the next translation of that famous "frog pond" haiku by Basho:

Pond, there, still and old!
A frog has jumped from the shore.
The splash can be heard

(tr. by Eli Siegel)

That was the first rule to discuss ... as you all know in the classical haiku you have to use kigo (seasonwords) and kireji (cuttingwords, in Western languages the same like punctuation); but it also has to be an "impression" (as I stated earlier here at CDHK) of a short moment as short as the sound of a frog jumping into the pond (to stay in tune with the famous haiku used here, "smiles") and the first and third line have to be interchangable and last but not least there has to be in some way a deeper spiritual, Zen-buddhistic, layer or meaning in the haiku.

Let us look at the kigo and kireji in the above haiku by Basho:

In this famous haiku we see the kigo in the second line, it's frog and it's a kigo for spring. Through these kigo the haiku-poet shows us the time in which he had this experience. Another kigo for spring is e.g. skylark:

in the house of God
you were the only one -
the song of a skylark

© Chèvrefeuille

In this haiku written by me the reader can by filling in the time of the kigo, skylark, understand that this haiku experience happened in spring ... and I have to say that's true, but as you know I am not so much of the haiku rules. So in my next example, also a haiku with skylark in it, you can read that I use this kigo in other times of the year too.

lost in the corn fields
I look at autumn's sky and listen,
a Skylark's song

© Chèvrefeuille

In this example "skylark", a spring kigo, is used in an autumn haiku.

Credits: Corn field at harvest time

Let us now look at the kireji in the haiku by Basho. To find that kireji (cuttingword) we have to use the romaji translation again:

Furu ike ya / kawazu tobikomu / mizu no oto

In this romaji translation "ya" (in the first part of the haiku) is the cutting word. This "ya" can be translated into a "!" in another language. As you can see in the translation by Siegel the first line is:

Pond, there, still and old!

It ends with a "!', the Western way for the kireji "ya". Or as you can see in the "haiga" of the frog-pond above ... "ya" can also be translated as ";" .

Than the rule of "interchangeability" which means that you can "interchange" the first and the third line without disturbing the "impression".
Let us try this "interchanging" with the frog pond haiku:

First the "normal" haiku:
 

Furu ike ya / kawazu tobikomu / mizu no oto

Old pond
frogs jumped in
sound of water

and now we interchange the first and third line of the haiku:

mizu no oto / kawazu tobikomu / furu ike ya

sound of water
frogs jumped in
old pond

© Basho (interchange by Chèvrefeuille)

As we read the haiku again ... than the impression hasn't changed ... that's the strongness of a good haiku. Let me try this with one of the "skylark"-haiku:

First the "normal" haiku:

in the house of God
you were the only one -
the song of a skylark

And now the "interchanged" haiku:

the song of a skylark
you were the only one -
in the house of God

© Chèvrefeuille

All great ways to play with haiku and the classical rules. Maybe it is just that "playing with words" ... an impression can have so much different views too ... haiku is an impression!

For closure: we have to look at another, last, classical rule ... the deeper meaning ... is there a deeper meaning in the frog pond haiku by Basho? I think so ... the old pond is disturbed by the frogs who jump into it and that refreshes the old pond ... that old pond comes to life again ... it's the eternal circle of life ... and in a way it's the Oneness and Emptiness of Zen ....

And can I find a deeper meaning in my skylark haiku? I think so too ... it's already a haiku with a kind of spirituality in it by using "the house of God", but that Skylark is praising his Creator with his song and because the person ("you") is completely alone in the church or temple ... he/she come in close contact with God, becoming one with Him and the Skylark is the joy-giver and praise-giver to that sweet silent emotion in Gods house .... I even can see in this haiku's deeper layer the New Jerusalem as spoken about in Revelations.

Well ... what a joy this episode has given me while creating it .... and I hope that it will inspire you all. What is the task of this Haiku Writing Techniques episode? It's easy ... step back in time ... you are now in classical Japan and you have to write a haiku with the classical rules (as given in this episode). Have fun .... don't be anxious or afraid to write a classical haiku .... just enjoy that you can experience the classical way of writing haiku.
Writing according to the classical rules of haiku .... is also a Haiku Writing Technique which you can use.

Croatia, the Isla of Rab

.I have chosen to use a haiku from my archive to be part in this task I have given you all with this episode:

the rough landscape

reaches to the deep blue sky
so impressive

© Chèvrefeuille

This episode is NOW OPEN for your submissions and will remain open until March 13th at noon (CET). I will (try to) publish our next episode, bird feathers, later on.