Saturday, March 23, 2013

Carpe Diem Special #28, Onitsura's Cherry-Flowers



Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

While on our way to the end of this Carpe Diem month with Spring kigo I have found a wonderful haiku written by our special haiku master Onitsura on Cherry-flowers. It's in a way a different kind of haiku written by him, but it still is a gorgeous verse.

Onitsura (1660-1738) was a contemporary of Basho (1644-1694) and he tried to follow in Basho's footsteps with his haiku. So sometimes his haiku are very similar with those of Basho, but always you can read Onitsura's Spirit in it. Feels somewhat like my own way of 'revisiting Basho's haiku' as you can find on one of my other blogs Basho Revisited were I look closer to haiku written by Basho and write one (trying to write one) in Basho's spirit.




saku-karani miru-karani hana no chiru-karani

the cherry-flowers bloom;

we gaze at them;
they fall, and ...

(c) Onitsura

R.H. Blyth, a wellknown haiku entrepeneur, commented in his Haiku Volume 2 Spring on this haiku the following:

[...] There is nothing beyond what is said here, in spite of the "and ..." Pilate asked Christ, "What is truth?" The answer is given here. The answer is,

The cherry-flowers bloom;
We gaze at them;
They fall, and ...

This "and ..." is the human element in Nature. It is the peasant or sage somewhere visible in a Chinese landscape. [...]

What a comment don't you think too? This haiku by Onitsura could have been written for Easter and we are approaching Easter as you may know. So this Special is quit nice for the time of year.

Well ... let me see if I can write a whole new haiku inspired on this one by Onitsura and I hope to catch his Spirit in it. I think it will not be easy, but I have to try of course (smiles).

just like that
cherry blossom petals fall -
a colorful shower

a colorful shower
walking beneath the cherry trees
while cherry petals fall

while cherry petals fall
a haiku by Onitsura comes in mind
just like that


Awesome! I love it when a haiku feels good. I like this cascading style very much, but (as you maybe know) I have created a new haiku form: Troiku (You can find a post on that new form HERE) and I love to share a Troiku with you all based on the haiku by Onitsura.

(The Sleigh):

the cherry-flowers bloom
we gaze at them
they fall, and ...

(Horse 1):

the cherry-flowers bloom
finally King Winter has gone
Ah! What a feast

(Horse 2):

we gaze at them
weeping in joyful honor -
cherry trees bloom

(Horse 3):

they fall, and ...
the promise of given fruits
in late Summer


Credits: Cherries

Isn't it a wonderful way to explore your creativity with haiku? This "Troiku" has become a nice one, as I may say so.

Have fun, be inspired and share your haiku (or maybe a Troiku) with us all here on Carpe Diem. This prompt will stay on 'til March 25th 11.59 AM (CET) and I will post our new episode, Haru ta (Spring paddy fields), later on today around 10.00 PM (CET).





10 comments:

  1. I had to get away from cherry blossoms but I hope I kept the spirit of the poet's original!

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  2. Lovely troiku.. especially love the last one... the promise hidden in the end of the haiku is the cherry fruits...

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  3. I agree with Bjørn (Brudberg). My immediate reflection was the one you formulate in the "Horse 3". This is a haiku difficult to make a new one out of. I am not sure if I can.

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  4. I love your prompt today, thoroughly enjoyed it. But I would like you to write at length on Troiku, I am intrigued by this new form. Thank you so much, Kris.

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  5. Thank you for introducing the troiku to me in such a wonderful way Kristjaan.
    I shall try one out in future.

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  6. this was an amazing prompt! very inspiring!

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  7. Love this prompt...and thank you for the reminder of the troiku...
    Peace
    Siggi

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  8. I tried to leave Yepirategunn a comment...maybe I can post it here...I tried newer posts that I thought the comments were still open, but cypber space was not cooperative tonite.
    For the post yepirategunn had two exceptional haiku in my thinking:

    Onitsura’s Cherry Flowers
    buds are on the pussy willows
    no blossoms just snow
    we wait, and…

    And a second one, similar in concept

    icicles melt above me
    I watch but don’t know
    which one will fall

    Original thoughts and well stated.
    Thank you yepirategunn
    Peace
    Siggi

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