Carpe Diem #879 On our way to Mogamigawa: summer rains, admirable

Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers ... or shall I say "dear haiku family members"?,

As we are going further into the deep north of Honshu Island we are now entering the region through which the river Mogami flows. Maybe the Mogami River will say something, because in one of Basho's famous haiku he speaks about the Mogami River. That haiku is one of the pieces of today's episode. And the other haiku, not so well known, but part of Oku-no-Hosomichi we will discuss too.
yesterday I told you that Basho's revised Oku-no-Hosomichi several times in the five years after his journey into the deep north. And in today's episode we will see this revising traject in one of the haiku. I hope you all will enjoy this episode.

admiring
the beauty of haiku
together with Basho

© Chèvrefeuille

I think "admiring" the beauty of haiku is the main goal here at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. It was haiku which brought me happiness and joy ... pure by reading them first and after while starting to write them myself. It's that admiration what started Carpe Diem Haiku Kai more then three years ago. It's an every day joy to create this Kai, but it is not always easy to create the episodes ... This month, however it's only joy and happiness, because we are reading "The Narrow Road into the Deep North", Basho's most famous haibun ever written and published. There are several translations of this wonderful haibun which I have used all to make you all happy and to inspire you all. This month's haiku are almost all by Basho (or Sora, his travel companion) in a translation by Jane Reichhold whom I am very grateful that she granted me permission to use her knowledge and her work. Thank you Jane ...

Jane Reichhold

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The River Mogami rises in the high mountains of the far north, and its upper course runs through the province of Yamagata. There are many dangerous spots along this river, such as Speckled Stones and Eagle Rapids, but it finally empties itself into the sea at Sakata, after washing the north edge of Mount Itajiki. As I descended this river in a boat, I felt as if the mountains on both sides were ready to fall down upon me, for the boat was tiny one - the kind that farmers used for carrying sheaves of rice in old times - and the trees were heavily laden with foliage. I saw the Cascade of Silver Threads sparkling through the green leaves and the Temple called Sennindo standing close to the shore. The river was swollen to the brim, and the boat was in constant peril.

summer rains
quickly gathered
Mogami River

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

I climbed Mount Haguro on the third of June. Through the effort of my friend, Zushi Sakichi, I was granted an audience with the high priest Egaku, then presiding over this whole mountain temple acting as bishop. He received me kindly and gave me a comfortable lodging in one of the annexes in the South Valley.

On the following day, I sat with the priest in the main hall to compose some linked verse. I wrote:

admirable
snow gives its scent to
the south valley

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

Credits: Mount Haguro (one of three most sacred shrines of the deep north

I visited the Gongen shrine on the fifth. The founder of this shrine is the priest called Nojo, but no one knows exactly when he lived. Court Ceremonies and rites during the Years of Engi, however, mentions that there is a sacred shrine on Mount Sato in the province of Dewa. The scribe must have written Sato where he should have written Kuro in the province of Dewa. According to a local history book, the name of the province itself is derived from the fact that quantities of feathers were sent to the Emperor each year as a tribute from this province. Be that as it may, this shrine on Mount Haguro is counted among the three most sacred shrines of the north, together with the shrines on Mount Gassan and Mount Yudono, and is a sister shrine of the temple on Mount Toei in Edo. Here the doctrine of Absolute Meditation preached in the Tendai sect shines forth like the clear beams of the moon, and the Laws of Spiritual Freedom and Enlightenment illuminate as lamps in utter darkness. There are hundreds of houses where the priests practice religious rites with absolute severity. Indeed the whole mountain is filled with miraculous inspiration and sacred awe. Its glory will never perish as long as man continues to live on the earth.

I climbed Mount Gassan on the eighth. I tied around my neck a sacred rope made of white paper and covered my head with a hood made of bleached cotton, and set off with my guide on a long march of eight miles to the top of the mountain. I walked through mists and clouds, breathing the thin air of high altitudes and stepping on slippery ice and snow, till at last through a gateway of clouds, as it seemed, to the very paths of the sun and moon, I reached the summit, completely out of breath and nearly frozen to death. Presently the sun went down and the moon rose glistening in the sky. I spread some leaves on the ground and went to sleep, resting my head on pliant bamboo branches. When, on the following morning, the sun rose again and dispersed the clouds, I went down towards Mount Yudono. 

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A nice stage again. I wonder in several translations of "Narrow Road" the translator uses the expression "station" for the diverse stages in the story and one of those translators says that every "station" is a place of growth in spirituality and it brings Basho (and us) closer to enlightenment ... so we will see that of course as we are going on our journey further in the presence of Basho's spirit.

Earlier in this post I mentioned that Basho revised several of his haiku during the years after his journey into the deep north and one of those haiku is mentioned above. This haiku "admirable" has three distinct versions which I love to share here with you all and I will try to tell you why Basho changed this haiku at least two times. First the last version as used in "Narrow Road" in a translation by Jane of course (as are the two other versions):

admirable
snow gives its scent to
the south valley

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

Credits: Mogami River

By the way there is another, almost the same in scene, haiku which Basho wrote as a welcome poem for one of the hosts he was welcomed by. Here is the haiku which Basho gave to Seishin while he visited him and attended in a renga-session, specifically, this greeting verse was the hokku of the renga performed at Seishin's house:

the scent of wind
from the south not far from
the Mogami River

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

This "hokku" could be seen easily as the entwining of the two haiku in the above episode of "Narrow Road", maybe it was meant to be a kind of knot to bind the scenes together, but that's pure speculation.

Okay ... back to the revised haiku of "admirable". As I told you earlier after his journey into the deep north it took Basho five years to revise his haibun and in the revision he also revised the "admirable" haiku a few times.

admirable
making the snow fragrant
sound of the wind

admirable
making the snow go around
the wind's sound

© Basho

It's remarkable to read those other versions and to see how little changes Basho made and the scene completely different exposes. I wonder why these revisions? Of course this is all speculative, but I think Basho needed to give words to his feelings of the sight around him. With the two revisions we cannot trace the place were Basho was and why he was overwhelmed by the beauty. I think that's why he revised it to the haiku as mentioned in our episode above.
As I look at the three versions than I would probably not choose the version Basho used finally, because it is (in my opinion) not really important to mention the place in the haiku, because it is mentioned in the prose already. I would have chosen the following version:

admirable
making the snow fragrant
sound of the wind

© Basho

In this version I feel the wind, I can smell the perfume of the fresh fallen snow and the scene it paints is overwhelming and very beautiful, but that's just my humble opinion> I even would "revise" this one a little bit ... to make it even more beautiful (how immodest). I hope Basho will forgive me ...

prodigious
fragrant snow
the wind

© Basho (Tr. Chèvrefeuille)

Well ... it was again a great joy (and "struggle") to create this episode. I hope it will inspire you all.

This episode is NOW OPEN for your submissions and will remain open until December 16th at noon (CET). I will try to pubklish our new episode, coolness; cloud peaks; not permitted to tell, later on. For now .... have fun, be inspired and share your wonderful haiku with us all here at our Kai.