Carpe Diem Haiku Writing Techniques #11 "baransu"

Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

For this episode I have dared to create a new haiku writing technique which I have called Baransu. Baransu is the Japanese word for balance and I think haiku needs that balance.

The birth of a new Haiku Writing Technique.

As I started preparing this episode of Carpe Diem Haiku Writing Techniques (CDHWT) and picked up the challenge to create a new haiku writing technique I had the Tan Renga in mind.
As you all know Tan Renga is a short chained renga composed by two poets. One poet writes the first stanza, the hokku, and the second poet writes the second stanza, the ageku, by associating on the images in the first stanza.
The first stanza looks like a haiku and has three lines (5-7-5 syllables) and the second stanza has two lines (7-7 syllables). What has this to do with Baransu, this newly created haiku writing technique? I will try to explain it.

Haiku has three lines as you all know and maybe we can bring balance in these three lines, by association. I will give an example (by the way the following haiku are just for explaining Baransu).

Example 1:

'a walk through the city' ... in this line we already a few possible things to associate on e.g. "walk" and "city". I have chosen to use "walk" to associate on.
'step by step I discover' ... in this line the possible associations can be on "step" and "discover". I have chosen to us "discover" and came to this third line:
'a newly built world'
Let me bring the three lines to each other than the following haiku will be formed:

a walk through the city
step by step I discover
a newly built world

© Chèvrefeuille

The above haiku is, in my opinion, Baransu, in balance. That balance I have reached through associating on the different images in every line of the above haiku.

Example 2:

Let me try to create another 'baransu'-haiku, but now I will use a famous haiku by Basho ... and yes ... there it is again "the frogpond":

the old pond
a frog jumps into it
sound of water

© Basho (Tr. Chèvrefeuille)

I will start by re-producing the first line here: the old pond. What are the possibilities to associate on? I think "old" and "pond" will do. "Old" has to do with 'classic', 'yesterday', 'age', 'a long time ago'. Which one can I use? I think I will try 'yesterday' to start creating the second line of this "baransu"-haiku.
'yesterday ... Irises bloomed' .. hm nice line, but what to use to associate on? In this line I can associate on 'yesterday'. 'Irises', and 'bloomed'. 'Yesterday' has to do with time; 'Irises' are purple mostly and 'bloomed' can mean 'blossoming' or 'decay' too. I will use 'Irises' to associate on and than this line 'pops-up' 'only a faint purple'.
Now I will bring the three lines together:

the old pond
yesterday ... Irises bloomed
only a faint purple

© Chèvrefeuille

What do you think? Are these lines 'baransu', in balance? I think so, but that's just my humble opinion.

Now let me look at some other haiku co,mposed by the classical haiku poets to see if baransu is a technique they used, because I haven't read information about this 'balance in haiku - idea". Sohere are a few examples which I distilled from the 'four volume-haiku-bible' by R.H. Blyth. Of course I wasn't there (in the time of the haiku) so all thoughts are speculative.

suzukaze no totoki mori no miyai kana

the shrine
in the sacred grove:
a cool wind blows

© Chora (Tr. R.H. Blyth)

In this haiku you can see how Chora has done some associating on 'shrine' which brought him 'sacred grove', but than ... that last line 'a cool wind blows', were did he associated on? I think he associated on 'sacred grove' translating it to 'spirit' or 'ghost' and came up with 'wind' which could be easily seen as referring to 'ghost' or 'spirit'.
As I look at this haiku by Chora from the perspective of baransu than I think I can say this is a 'baransu-haiku' (in balance).

Another haiku, this is a great haiku by Buson:

mizugame ni kawazu uku nari satsukiame

a frog floating
in the water-jar:
rains of summer

© Buson (Tr. R.H. Blyth)

Buson introduces 'the frog' in the first line, so taht must be his theme, but how did he came to his 2nd and 3rd line? Did he compose this one using baransu?
Let us look to the 2nd line 'in the water-jar' as I will look at the association, the base of baransu, than he maybe associated on 'frog', a water animal and so he came to his second line. Than that 3rd line, could have been created by association on 'water-jar', because Buson mentioned the 'rains' in his third line. So this haiku can be seen as a baransu-haiku.

Of course this is all speculation, because I couldn't find anything about 'balance' in haiku in the sources I mostly use for my haiku and CDHK.

Resume:

First I discussed the way of association in the Tan Renga; than I tried to introduce 'baransu' (associative balance), a new haiku writing technique which I dared creating myself. Than we had a few examples in which I have tried to explain this 'baransu'- technique. I even tried my hand on the famous 'frogpond' haiku by Basho to re-form it in a 'baransu' haiku.
After that daring task I shared a few haiku by classical haiku-poets to try finding 'baransu' in it.
This episode was really great to make and I hope this new haiku writing technique will inspire you.

The task for this episode is to write/compose a 'baransu'-haiku and if possible, share your 'route of association' with us too.

Here are my examples another time:

a walk through the city
step by step I discover
a newly built world

© Chèvrefeuille

the old pond
yesterday ... Irises bloomed
only a faint purple

© Chèvrefeuille

And to conclude this episode I have written/composed another haiku in which I use baransu.

the cooing of pigeons
resonates through the grey streets -
ah! that summer rain

© Chèvrefeuille

Maybe you can find the 'route of association' which I have used for this haiku.

Well ... I hope you did like this episode of our Carpe Diem Haiku Writing Techniques in which I introduced baransu too you all. I hope you like this new haiku writing technique.

This episode is NOW OPEN for your submissions and will remain open until March 20th at noon (CET). I will try to publish our new episode, melancholy, later on. For now .... have fun!.

Carpe Diem Goes Back to It's Roots #2

Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

Halfway last September I started a new feature titled "Carpe Diem Goes Back to It's Roots" and the goal of that feature is to write haiku in the classical way. I love to share a new episode of that feature today. What does it mean "goes back to it's roots"? Well ... that the haiku has to be written in the classical way and that means:

1. Describe a moment as short as the sound of a pebble thrown into water; so present tense;
2. 5-7-5 syllables;
3. Use a kigo (or seasonword);
4. Use a kireji (or cuttingword);
5. Soemtimes a deeper spiritual or Zen-Buddhistic meaning;
6. First and third line are interchangeable and last but not least
7. No Self, avoid personal or possessive pronouns (I, me, my); it's an experience not how the poet feels about it.

As you can read at point 4, one of the rules is to use kireji (cuttungword). For this episode of "Carpe Diem Goes Back to It's Roots" I love to tell something more about kireji (cuttingword).

Kireji (lt. "cutting word") is the expression for a special category of words used in certain types of Japanese traditional poetry as is haiku. It's regarded as a requirement in classical haiku.
In English there is no exact equivalent of kireji and therefore it's difficult to define it's function. It is said to supply structural support to the haiku. When placed at the end of a haiku, it provides a dignified ending, concluding the haiku with a heightened sense of closure. Used in the middle of the haiku, it briefly cuts the stream of thought, indicating that the haiku consists of two thoughts hald independent of each other. In such a position, it indicates a pause, both rhythmically and grammatically, and may tend an emotional flavour to the phrase preceding it.

The most common Kireji used in classical haiku are:

ka : emphasis; when at end of a phrase, it indicates a question.
kana : emphasis; usually can be found at a poem's end, indicates wonder.
- keri : exclamatory verbal suffix, past perfect.
- ramu or - ran : verbal suffix indicating probability.
- shi : adjectival suffix; usually used to end a clause.
- tsu : verbal suffix; present perfect.
ya : emphasis the preceding word or words cutting a poem into two parts, it implies an equation, while inviting the reader to explore their interrelationship.

How to use Kireji?

Haiku consist of 17 japanese syllables or onji, in three metrical phrase of 5, 7 and 5 onji respectively. A kireji is typicall positioned at the end of one of these three phrases.
When it's placed at the end of the final phrase (the end of the haiku), the kireji draws the reader back to the beginning, initiating a circular pattern. A large number of haiku, including many of those by Basho (1644-1694, founder of the "modern" haiku), and with either - keri, an exclamatory auxiliary verb, ot the exclamatory particle kana , both of which initiate such a circular pattern.

For example this spring haiku by Basho:

harusame no koshita ni tsutau shizuku kana

spring rain
conveyed under the trees
in drops

(Tr.: R.H. Blyth)

As you can see the first line "spring rain" is coming back in somewhat the same way in the third line "in drops", which makes this haiku circular.

Spring Rain

Another haiku by Basho in which you can see that same circular pattern is:

nan no ki no hana towa shirazu nioi kana

from what flowering tree
I know not, -
but ah, the fragrance !

(Tr.: R.H.Blyth)

Placed elsewhere in the haiku, a kireji performs the paradoxical function of both cutting and joining; it not only cuts the haiku in two parts, but also establishes a correspondence between the two images it separartes, implying that the latter represents the poetic essence (or hon'i) of the former, creating two centres and often generating an implicit comparison, equation, or contrast between the two separate elements.

For example, this haiku written by Chora (1729-1780), a contemporary of Yosa Buson (1716-1783):

yamadera ya tare mo mairanu nehanzoo

a mountain temple;
no one comes to pray
at the Nirvana Picture

(Tr.: R.H. Blyth)

In this haiku you can see that the 'ya', (dividing kireji), at the end of the first phrase, divides the haiku in two parts.

Mountain Temple

Another example of this kireji which cuts the haiku in two parts. A haiku by Buson:

hina-mise no hi wo hiku koro ya haru no ame

as they were putting out
the lights of the doll shops,
the spring rain

(Tr.: R.H. Blyth)

In this haiku you can also see the place of the 'ya' it's placed behind the second phrase and so it divides the haiku in two separated parts, which by the way join eachother also.

Kireji in English?

In English we have no direct equivalent of kireji. Mid-verse kireji have been described as sounded rather than written punctuation. In English haiku kireji may be represented by punctuation (typically by a dash (-) or an ellipsis), an exclamatory particle (such as "how ..."), or simply left unmarked. For example, a semi-colon (;) cuts a sentence into parts, with equal emphasis on both parts.

An example of the use of a semi-colon in a haiku written by myself, your host:

first light
over the beach;
fishermen sailing home

(c) Chèvrefeuille, your host

A dash (-) emphasized and adds to what follows, another example written by myself:

colored mountains
at sundown - memories
of long gone days

(c) Chèvrefeuille, your host

For closure a haiku with an unmarked kireji at the end of the second phrase:

after the storm
the leaves lay down at last
autumn evening

(c) Chèvrefeuille, your host

Colored Mountain(s)

Kireji ... a classical must do in haiku, so the task of this "Carpe Diem Goes Back to It's Roots" - episode is to write a haiku in the classical way with the use of the rules above and specific attention to the kireji. Not an easy task I think, but I think that it challenges us all to look closer at the haiku we write.
So "break a leg", have fun and share your classical haiku (with the 'must do' kireji) with our Haiku Kai.

Of course I have to try it myself, if else ... I can not ask it you all (smiles).

"look at that granddad !"
the little boy yells excited -
dew drops on cobweb

Another one:

broken sunflower
seeds spread all around his stem;
bringing joy next year

"Broken" Sunflower

Choose your own theme and share your classical haiku with us all here at our Haiku Kai. Have fun, be inspired and be like a classical haiku-poet.
This episode of "Carpe Diem Goes Back to It's Roots" will stay on 'til November 15th 11.59 AM (CET) and I will (try) to post a new episode of "Goes Back to It's Roots" later on that day.
!! This episode of Carpe Diem Goes Back to It's Roots is now open for your submissions !!