Showing posts with label Haiku Writing Techniques. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Haiku Writing Techniques. Show all posts

Friday, September 18, 2020

Carpe Diem Preview: A taste of Basho's school for haiku, our new feature, soon to come: Hosomi

 


Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

I just had to publish a post, just ... because it has been a while. As I told you in our recent CDHK Extra post I will start with a new feature here at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. That new feature is titled "Basho's School at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai".

In this new feature I hope to share the knowledge of Basho, as he taught at his school. I am looking forward to that new feature, and today I love to give you already a "taste" of it.

Hosomi

Poets are often seen as highly sensitive people, people that can hear and see what ordinary people don't hear or see, as if poets have a thin thread bound to the heart of the essence of life, connected with all and everything around them. Poets have the gift to see the most tiny things around them, think for example about that gorgeous haiku by Basho about "Shepherd's Purse":

furu hata ya nazuna hana saku kakine kana

if you look closely
a Sheperd's Purse flowering
underneath the hedge


© Matsuo Basho (1686)


In Basho's School this hyper-sensitivity is called "hosomi". Poets who are enlightened can find that inner spot to become one with their surroundings, one with nature, as if they are becoming part of it. A kind of hyper-sensitivity for that what you cannot see and that's not visible for others.

Part of this "hosomi" we can see in several haiku by classical haiku poets. An example:

a breath of fresh air -
the voice of the pine trees
fills the empty sky

© Ueshima Onitsura (1661-1738) (Tr. Chèvrefeuille)

In this beautiful haiku by Onitsura we read, what is called "hosomi" ... "the voice of the pine trees, fills the empty sky". This is what "hosomi" is. 

In Western poetry, "hosomi", is the same like "hyperbole" or "exaggeration". Exaggeration is used already several decates to create haiku with. So let us look at another example, maybe you can see the "hyperbole" or "exaggeration".

is that the murmur of the mist -
that almost imperceptible
there among the birches?

© Mizuhara Shuoshi (1822-1981) (Tr. Chèvrefeuille)


I think this "hosomi", this "hyperbole" is a wonderful technique to use in your haiku (or tanka). The goal for this "taste of Basho's School" is to create a haiku (or tanka) in which you use this "hosomi" or "hyperbole".

Here is my haiku in which I hope you can see this "hosomi", this "hyperbole":

deep silence
I can hear the grass grow -
a new day rises

© Chèvrefeuille, your host.


This episode is NOW OPEN for your submissions. You can click on our logo (at the bottom of this episode) to submit your haiku in which you use this "hosomi", this "hyperbole" haiku writing technique.

Monday, July 6, 2020

Carpe Diem Exploring The Beauty Of Haiku #1827 Paradox


Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

Welcome at a new episode of our wondeful Kai were we are exploring the beauty of haiku this month. After the Covid-19 crisis we finally can go outside again, not only for the most important things to do like work and groceries, but also to enjoy nature again. Nature ... our most important ingredient of our haiku.

“I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.” -  Plato, The Republic

Why this quote by Plato to start this episode? Well ... as we look at that quote we immediately see the paradox in this and I think what Plato says is true for every one. We are all intelligent people, we  are all wise, but ... we know nothing. That's sounds more negative then I meant it to be, because I think we are wise people, but we learn new things every day again.

Paradox, optical illusion (image found on Pinterest)

PARADOX

[...] "Paradox is the life of haiku, for in each verse some particular thing is seen, and at the same time, without loss of its individuality and separateness, its distinctive difference from all other things, it is seen as a no-thing, as all things, as an all-thing." [...] (Chèvrefeuille)

Jane Reichhold (1937-2016) wrote in her book "Writing and Enjoying Haiku" the following about "paradox":

One of the aims of haiku is to confuse the reader just enough to attract interest. Using a paradox will engage interest and give the reader something to ponder after the last word. Again, one cannot use nonsense but has to construct a true, connected-to-reality paradox. It is not easy to come up with new ones or good ones, but when it happens, one should not be afraid of using it in a haiku.

Here is an example by Jane herself:

waiting room
a patch of sunlight
wears out the chairs

© Jane Reichhold

And here is an example written by Basho (1644-1694) in which he uses paradox:

black forest
whatever you may say
a morning of snow

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

Let us explore "paradox" a little bit further.  Søren Kierkegaard (1813-1855), writes the following about paradox, in the Philosophical Fragments:

[...] "...that one must not think ill of the paradox, for the paradox is the passion of thought, and the thinker without the paradox is like the lover without passion: a mediocre fellow. But the ultimate potentiation of every passion is always to will its own downfall, and so it is also the ultimate passion of the understanding to will the collision, although in one way or another the collision must become its downfall. This, then, is the ultimate paradox of thought: to want to discover something that thought itself cannot think." [...] (Source: Wikipedia)

And what do you think of the paradox in a great painting by one of my favorite Dutch painters, M.C. Escher. Maurits Cornelis Escher (1898-1972) is one of the world's most famous graphic artists. His art is enjoyed by millions of people all over the world, as can be seen on the many web sites on the Internet. One of his most beautiful paintings (in my opinion) is titled "Paradox".

M.C. Escher's Paradox
But ... can we create a haiku with this "paradox"? Let me give it a try:

reaching for the sun
tulips bursting through the earth -
colorful rainbow

© Chèvrefeuille

Is this a "paradox"? I think so, but maybe you have another idea about it. Feel free to share it with us.

This episode is NOW OPEN for your submissions and will remain open until July 11th 10:00 PM (CEST). You can add your submission by clicking on our logo below. Have fun!


Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Carpe Diem's Tan Renga Wednesday #10 such a cold night


Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

It's Wednesday again and that means ... time for a new episode of our special feature Carpe Diem's Tan Renga Wednesday. The challenge of this special feature is to create a Tan Renga with a given haiku by adding your second stanza of two lines (approx. 7-7 syllables). This week I have chosen a not so well known haiku by, my master, Matsuo Basho (1644-1694).

kazuki fusu futon ya samuki yo ya sugoki

lying down
with quilts over the head
such a cold night

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)


Japanese Quilt

As you can see, in this haiku Basho uses rhyme, a not so very well known haiku writing technique, because, as you maybe know, in (translated) haiku the use of rhyme isn't common (according to Western studies).

Rhyme is a major component of Western poetry. In Japan most of the sound units (onji) are built on only five vowels, and rhyming occurs naturally. Yet, haiku translated into rhymed lines often need so much padding to make the rhyme work that the simplicity of the poem gets lost. However, if the reader takes the time to read the romaji version of the above haiku by Basho. one can see how often the old master employed the linkage of sound in his work. The rhyme, in the above haiku, occurs in "kazuki", "samuki" and "sugoki"..

So that brings us a new challenge ... try to let your 2nd stanza, of two lines, rhyme too.

This Tan Renga Wednesday episode is open for your submissions tonight at 7:00 PM (CET) and will remain open until January 28th at noon (CET).


Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Carpe Diem #1528 Shasei


Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

I hope this will be a nice episode to inspire you. I had a sad day today. Today the hospital were I work as an oncology nurse told its personnel that the hospital is running towards bankruptcy, so the future has become very uncertain today, but ... there is no need to share this sadness with you all and it certainly cannot influence my passion for CDHK, because you all deserve that I inspire you every day.

Maybe you have read our CDHK E-book Haiku Writing Techniques Volume 2, I hope so, because I have taken a chapter from that 2nd volume to inspire you today. Maybe you can remember "shasei", it's a haiku writing technique inventened by Masaoka Shiki. Let me give you an explanation of this haiku writing technique.

A Stormy Sea (painting by Monet, 1884), this is what "shasei" means "the real thing, as you see it".

The word "shasei" has not yet been invented at the time of Basho, but the idea was there according to what Basho tells his disciples:

[...] Matsuo Basho advises his disciples: “Learn from the Pine!”To do that you must leave behind you all subjective prejudice. Otherwise you will force your own self onto the object and can learn nothing from it. Your poem will well-up of its own accord when you and the object become one, when you dive deep enough into the object, to discover something of its hidden glimmer. [...]

An example of "shasei", a haiku by Shiki:

Come spring as of old. 
When such revenues of rice. 
Braced this castle town! 

© Masaoka Shiki

Though this technique is often given Shiki's term Shasei (sketch from life) or Shajitsu (reality), it has been in use since the beginning of poetry in the Orient. The poetic principle is "to depict the thing just as it is". The reason Shiki took it up as a poetical cause, and this made it famous,  was his own rebellion against the many other techniques used in haiku. Shiki was, by nature it seemed, against whatever was the status quo - a true rebel. If older poets had overused any idea or method, it was his personal goal to point this out and suggest something else. This was followed until someone else got tired of it and suggested something new. This seems to be the way poetry styles go in and out of fashion.

Thus, Shiki hated associations, contrasts, comparisons, wordplays, puns, and riddles - all the things we are cherishing here! He favored the quiet simplicity of just stating what he saw without anything else happening in the haiku. He found the greatest beauty in the common sight, simply reported exactly as it was seen, and ninety-nine percent of his haiku written in his style. Many people still feel he was right. There are some moments that are perhaps best said as simply as possible in his way. Yet, Shiki himself realized in 1893, after writing very many haiku in this style, that used too much, even his new idea could become lackluster. So the method is an answer, but never the complete answer of how to write a haiku.

waves (© unknown)

An example of a shasei haiku by Jane Reichhold:

evening
waves come into the cove
one at a time

© Jane Reichhold

In Basho's time shasei wasn't a known word, but this haiku shows what shasei means. Just the real scene caught in a haiku. An example of a shasei haiku by Basho:

ame no hi ya seken no aki o sakai-cho

a rainy day
the autumn world
of a border town

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

The play of words, something Shiki hated, comes with sakai ("boundary" or "border") and sakai-cho, the name of the theater district of old Tokyo. Because of its questionable reputation the district was placed at the edge of town.

hazy heath

I think this shasei is a nice Haiku Writing Technique and worth "playing" with. So here is a haiku by myself in which I have used shasei:

at sunrise
wandering over the hazy heath
the cry of an owl

© Chèvrefeuille

Well ... the goal is clear for this episode I think "write a haiku in the shasei style" promoted by Shiki. Have fun!

This episode is NOW OPEN for your submissions and will remain open until October 30th at noon (CET). I will try to publish our new episode later on. For now ... have fun!

More about this "shasei" you can find HERE


Thursday, October 18, 2018

Carpe Diem #1525 Perpetuum Mobile ... everlasting movement ("undou")


Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

I had a very busy day today. I had an education-day at the hospital especially for oncology nurses, so I am a bit tired therefore I have chosen to make it myself easy.
In our CDHK history we explored Haiku Writing Techniques and I even had the guts to create two HWT's myself. For this episode "Perpetuum Mobile" I have chosen to give you a "reprise" of the "undou" writing technique or "movement".

waterfall of colors
leaves whirl through the street -
departing summer

© Chèvrefeuille (2012)

In this haiku the movement (undou), the motion is very clear present "leaves whirl through the street" ... all movement. Haiku becomes very lively through using movement ... so try it sometimes ... or just now.



Haiku is the poetry of the moment ... it is the beauty of that moment and that moment, as you all know, is as short as the sound of a pebble thrown into water. Just an eye-blink, a heart beat ... And if you would bring that short moment into haiku there is no movement at all. Haiku is a static response on that short moment. You catch the moment and that is it.
As we bring "movement" into our haiku, than it's no longer a static scene, but than it's a dynamic scene. The scene is no longer a short moment (like the pebble), but it becomes a longer, bigger, broader scene.
Because "movement" is not longer an eye-blink or a heartbeat.

That's why this idea of "movement" in haiku intrigues me. Why bring that dynamic into haiku? I think ... dynamics make the haiku more lively, more exciting ... catching movement in haiku is in my opinion awesome. Dynamics caught in three lines ... wow.

Nature is always moving and so it's like a perpetuum mobile. As I look at haiku on it self than haiku is always changing too. As long as haiku exists the rules of writing them have changed like the waves, they have come and go and come again. So our beloved haiku is a perpetuum mobile in it's pure form I think.

seasons come and go
the everlasting motion of nature -
perpetuum mobile

© Chèvrefeuille



That famous haiku "frog pond" by Basho comes in mind. As Basho created that haiku he did something else than everyone before him. Everyone before him used frogs in their poetry because of their croaking and not because of their movement.

old pond
frog jumps in
water sound

© Basho (Tr. Chèvrefeuille)

In that famous haiku by Basho lays the birth of "undou" (movement), that HWT I created. "Undou" (movement) however is more than only the movement of a frog. It's the movement of nature, of our world, movement that is everlasting like a "perpetuum mobile" and that, my dear Haijin, visitors and travelers, is why I created "undou" (movement) as a new haiku writing technique.

apple blossom falls
scattered by the late spring breeze
apple blossom falls 

© Chèvrefeuille

This is "undou", this is movement.

Today's goal is trying to catch the perpetual motion of the seasons, of nature, the "undou" of nature. I challenge you to catch movement in your haiku.

This episode is NOW OPEN for your submissions and will remain open until October 25th at noon (CEST). I will try to publish our new weekend meditation later on. For now ... have fun!

More about Undou


Friday, February 2, 2018

Carpe Diem Weekend-Meditation #18 Yugen, a new feature


!! Open for your submissions next Sunday February 4th at 7:00 PM (CET) !!

Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

Welcome at a new Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation. For this weekend-meditation I have created a whole new feature ... Yūgen. And maybe you can remember yūgen from our 2nd series of Haiku Writing Techniques.
Yūgen is usually defined as "mystery" and "unknowable depth". Somehow yūgen has avoided the controversy of Wabi and Sabi. But since deciding which haiku exemplifies this quality is a judgmental decision, there is rarely consent over which verse has it and which does not. One could say a woman's face half-hidden behind a fan has yūgen. The same face half-covered with pink goo while getting a facial, however, does not. But still, haiku poets do use the atmosphere as defined by yūgen to make their words be a good haiku by forcing their readers to think and to delve into the everyday sacredness of common things.

Here is an example of a "yūgen-haiku" by Jane Reichhold:

a swinging gate
on both sides flowers
open - close
 

© Jane Reichhold

Yūgen may be, among generally recondite Japanese aesthetic ideas, the most ineffable. The term is first found in Chinese philosophical texts, where it has the meaning of “dark,” or “mysterious.”


Kamo no Chōmei  offers the following as a characterization of yūgen: “It is like an autumn evening under a colorless expanse of silent sky. Somehow, as if for some reason that we should be able to recall, tears well uncontrollably.”

Another characterization helpfully mentions the importance of the imagination: “When looking at autumn mountains through mist, the view may be indistinct yet have great depth. Although few autumn leaves may be visible through the mist, the view is alluring. The limitless vista created in imagination far surpasses anything one can see more clearly”. 

Yūgen does not, as has sometimes been supposed, have to do with some other world beyond this one,
but rather with the depth of the world we live in, as experienced through cultivated imagination.


In "Basho, The Complete Haiku" Jane Reichhold gives us an example of a haiku by Basho in which he used yūgen and I love to share that haiku here with you all: 

souvenir paintings
what kind of a brush first drew
the image of Buddha


© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

So ... yūgen as defined "mystery" and "unknowable depth" is not a well-known (or often used) haiku writing techniques, but in a way I am attracted to this technique. I think that in the most haiku shared here at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai we can find yūgen, but that's just my humble opinion.

I think we have to explore this, because I belief that haiku needs yūgen, needs "mystery" and "unknowable depth". So let us focus on that.



I have given it a try ... I just had to, because how could I expect it from you, as I didn’t tried it myself to catch "mystery" ... yūgen ... "unknowable depth" in a haiku? So here is my "yūgen-haiku" and a tanka examples from my archives: 

empty bowl
thrown away in the sink
faint scent of tea


from a treetop
emptiness dropped down
in a cicada shell
the soothing sound of spring rain
makes the silence stronger
  


© Chèvrefeuille


Well ... I think the goal is clear for this new weekend-meditation feature "yūgen". Try to create a "yūgen-haiku". No theme for this weekend-meditation, just try to use the "yūgen" haiku writing technique.

This weekend-meditation is open for your submissions next Sunday February 4th at 7:00 PM (CET) and will remain open until February 11th at noon (CET). Have fun! And ... have a great weekend.
 

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Chèvrefeuille's Gift to You to Celebrate Our First Luster of Carpe Diem Haiku Kai #4 reprise "perpetuum mobile"


Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

I had some spare time so here is another episode of my gift to you. In this special Luster feature I take you back to several special features we had here at CDHK. This time I have chosen to bring you a "reprise" of "Perpetuum Mobile" (or perpetual movement), that special feature about "movement in haiku". This special feature was the "trigger" to create Undou (movement) as a Haiku Writing Technique in our second CD-HWT series.

A while ago (somewhere in July 2015) I introduced CD Perpetuum Mobile to you. A special feature about movement in our beloved haiku. Movement? What is movement? How do I catch movement in my haiku? To catch movement in your haiku you can try movement as in "driving a car" or "the swirling of autumn leaves", but movement can also be "the change of seasons" or "the erosion of pebbles through water or sand". All examples of movement. To catch movement in a haiku is not easy, because sometimes it can look artificial and that, my dear Haijin, is something you and I don't want to see/read in our haiku.

Logo of Carpe Diem's Perpetuum Mobile"
Haiku is the poetry of nature and nature is always in motion. Seasons come and go, the moon changes every 28 days and so on, the only thing which is steady and without clear motion is our sun, that big star of our Milky Way around which the planets are rotating.

Nature is always moving and so it's like a perpetuum mobile. As I look at haiku on it self than haiku is always changing too. As long as haiku exists the rules of writing them have changed like the waves, they have come and go and come again. So our beloved haiku is a perpetuum mobile in it's pure form I think.

seasons come and go
the everlasting motion of nature -
perpetuum mobile

© Chèvrefeuille

The Ocean is a "perpetuum mobile"
A haiku must be fluid, it has to flow, but how can we bring that fluid, that flow into haiku? I think the only way to do that is being one with the scene, the moment, we have to describe in our haiku, but ... I can almost hear you think "haiku is an impression" as I love to call it.
Maybe you can remember our first series of Haiku Writing Techniques or our Impressionism month in which I stated that haiku is an impression, a surprise, but if we look at haiku that way and we have to bring movement into our haiku than we cannot be non-artificial, but still ... This sounds like a koan, that Zen question that enlightens you as you find the unexpected answer, the unexpected deeper meaning and beauty of your haiku.
Most haiku can be seen/read as such a koan, because you describe a moment as short as the sound of a pebble thrown into water that touched you and gave you a kind of insight ... or maybe a revelation.

dew drops shimmer
on colorful leaves
rainbows sparkle

© Chèvrefeuille

Do you see/read the movement? The light of the sun, the shimmering dew drops in which rainbows sparkle, and those colorful leaves making the sensational movement even better.

"dancing" autumn leaves
Or what do you think of this one, from my archives:

waterfall of colors
leaves whirl through the street -
departing summer

© Chèvrefeuille (2012)

In this haiku the movement, the motion is very clear present "leaves whirl through the street" ... all movement. Haiku becomes very lively through using movement ... so try it sometimes ... or just now.

Haiku is the poetry of the moment ... it is the beauty of that moment and that moment, as you all know, is as short as the sound of a pebble thrown into water. Just an eye-blink, a heart beat ... And if you would bring that short moment into haiku there is no movement at all. Haiku is a static response on that short moment. You catch the moment and that is it.
As we bring "movement" into our haiku, than it's no longer a static scene, but than it's a dynamic scene. The scene is no longer a short moment (like the pebble), but it becomes a longer, bigger, broader scene.
Because "movement" is not longer an eye-blink or a heartbeat.

That's why this idea of "movement" in haiku intrigues me. Why bring that dynamic into haiku? I think ... dynamics make the haiku more lively, more exciting ... catching movement in haiku is in my opinion awesome. Dynamics caught in three lines ... wow.



As I am writing this reprise post about "perpetuum mobile" (perpetual movement) that famous haiku "frog pond" by Basho comes in mind. As Basho created that haiku he did something else than everyone before him. Everyone before him used frogs in their poetry because of their croaking and not because of their movement.

old pond
frog jumps in
water sound

© Basho (Tr. Chèvrefeuille)

In that famous haiku by Basho lays the birth of "undou" (movement), that HWT I created. "Undou" (movement) however is more than only the movement of a frog. It's the movement of nature, of our world, movement that is everlasting like a "perpetuum mobile" and that, my dear Haijin, visitors and travelers, is why I created "undou" (movement) as a new haiku writing technique.

apple blossom falls
scattered by the late spring breeze
apple blossom falls 

© Chèvrefeuille

This is "undou", this is movement.

The goal of this feature is trying to catch the perpetual motion of the seasons, of nature, the "undou" of nature. I challenge you to catch movement in your haiku.

This episode is NOW OPEN for your submissions and will remain open until next Saturday June 10th at noon (CET). No prompt, no theme ... just the challenge to creat haiku (only haiku) in which you use this "undou", this idea of "perpetual movement". Have fun! (This "gift" episode is built from two other posts I have once written here at CDHK).


Friday, May 19, 2017

Carpe Diem Universal Jane #17 fragment and phrase


Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

Welcome at a new "weekend-meditation" episode, this week it's a Universal Jane episode and it's also a kind of reprise episode, because I remember that we have had an earlier post on "fragment and phrase" by Jane Reichhold (1937-2016) and I think I have used it in several other posts, but this "fragment and phrase" theory by Jane is not easy to understand, but easy to use. So I thought to bring itt another time.
(By the way: This will be the last bi-weekly episode of "Universal Jane", because I am busy to create another special feature to honor Jane Reichhold, the Queen of haiku and tanka).

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Fragment & Phrase Theory by Jane Reichhold 

The fact that the smallest literary form - haiku - has the most rules never ceases to amaze and astound. The only real comfort one can find in this situation is the concept that this affords a wider range of rules from which a writer can pick and choose. You cannot follow all of the rules and several of them are so contradictory that there is no way to honor them both at once. You must always choose. In order to make a choice, you have to understand the reasons and methods.
To write about one or two “rules” as if these are the “real rules” could (and should!) easily offend those who have chosen to follow opposite or other guidelines. So let me make the disclaimer that in discussing these rules I am discussing only some of the current disciplines I am following in my own haiku writing and which are currently shared by a majority of writers.
 
First and foremost, and certainly the guideline which I have consciously or unconsciously followed the longest, is the one that a haiku must be divided into two parts. This is the positive side of the rule that haiku should not be a run-on sentence. There needs to be a syntactical break dividing the ku into two parts. From the Japanese language examples this meant that one line (five onji) was separated from the rest by either grammar or punctuation (in the Japanese an accepted sound-word – kireji –  was as if we said or wrote out “dash” or “comma”).
For the purposes of this discussion, I would like to call the shorter portion, the fragment and the longer portion, or rest of the poem, the phrase.
The need for distinguishing between the two parts of the ku takes on importance when one begins to discuss the use of articles (“a”, “an” and “the”) because it is possible to have different rules concerning the different parts. Before getting into that, let me state that the fragment can be (or usually is) either line 1 or line 3. A clear example of the first is:
rain gusts
the electricity goes
on and off

Even without punctuation the reader can hear and feel the break between the fragment (rain gusts) and the phrase (the electricity goes on and off). Also one instinctively feels that the second line break would go after “goes”. Yet, another author may find merit in continuing the line to read “the electricity goes on” and then let the final line bring in the dropped shoe – “and off”. I chose to have “on and off” as the third line because my goal was to establish an association between “rain gusts” and “on and off”. One can write of many qualities of “rain gusts”, but in this ku, the “on and off” aspect is brought forward and then reinforced by bringing in the power of electricity.  An example of the fragment found in the third line is often used as answer when creating a riddle (a valid and well-used haiku technique) as in:

a vegetarian
with legs crossed in zazen
the roasting chicken

It is also possible to write ku in which the reader would have to decide which part was the fragment by combining either lines 1 and 2 or reading lines 2 and 3 together to make the phrase. An example might be:

moonlit pines
dimming
the flashlight

But even here, the fact that “moonlit pines” is not written as “the moonlit pines” tells one that the author was silently designating the first line as the fragment even though the middle line has its own curious brevity. Still, the lack of punctuation allows the reader to try out the thought that as the moonlight in the pines became dimmer someone had to turn on a flashlight. Or, reading the poem as it was experienced: the moonlight on the pines was so bright the flashlight seemed to be getting dimmer.
 
This brings us around to the articles and you may have already guessed the next guideline for using them. In the fragment you can often dispense with the use of an article to leave the noun stand alone. Sometimes you can even erase the preposition from the fragment especially if you are feeling that you will scream if you read one more haiku which begins with “in the garden”.
This guideline asks sensitivity. It is not a hard and fast rule. But during the revising stage of writing your ku, it is something to try. Cover up the preposition and the article in the fragment and see if the ku holds together. Perhaps it will even get stronger! If you feel the article and preposition are needed, then by all means, use them. Do whatever works for your voice. In the “roasted chicken” ku I debated about leaving the articles out, but decided the ku needed the “grease to the wheels of understanding” of the articles. But if you are seeking to shorten the ku, look first to the fragment as you cross out unneeded words.
However, one cannot follow the same “rule” in writing the phrase portion of the ku. Sometimes critics make the comment in a workshop that a haiku is “choppy”. What they are referring to is the feeling that at the end of each line the break in syntax is final. The two lines of the phrase are not hooked together in a flow of grammar and meaning. Notice the difference between:

low winter sun
raspberry leaves
red and green
 

If to this “grocery list ku” we add a preposition and an article we get:

low winter sun
in the raspberry leaves
red and green
 

It pays to be aware of which two lines you wish to make into the phrase. It helps to read the two lines of a ku which are to become your phrase out loud to see how they sound in your mouth and ears. If there is a too-clear break between the lines, ask yourself if you need an article or an article plus a preposition to be inserted. If you do, forget brevity and allow yourself the lyric pleasure of a smooth shift between these two lines.
If I had chosen to make the first line the fragment I would write the ku as:

low winter sun
raspberry leaves glow
red and green

Adding a verb gives the proper grammatical flow between lines 2 and 3. If one added “in the” to the first line, the ku would read as “in the low winter sun raspberry leaves glow red and green” which, to my ears would be a run-on sentence. One other variation on this subject is the haiku in which the break occurs in the middle of the second line. Often one finds this in translations of Basho's haikai taken out of context from a renga. Basically you have a two-liner set into three lines. Occasionally one will find an English haiku written in this manner. Again, it is often “rescued” out of a renga or written by people using 5-7-5 syllable count who end up with too many images as in this example from Borrowed Water edited by Helen Chenoweth in 1966 who wrote:

A cricket disturbed
the sleeping child; on the porch
a man smoked and smiled.

If the comment above sounds too critical of the use of the break in the middle of the second line, let me add that this method becomes very interesting if one is working with parallels. Perhaps that is what Helen was noticing – the difference between the sleeping child and man on the porch. Parallels were learned by the Japanese from the Chinese and often used successfully in haiku and tanka. 
 
 
Those persons using punctuation in their ku, will often find themselves making a dash after the fragment and hopefully nothing, not even a comma in the middle of the phrase, even if there is a breath of the possibility of one. Sometimes, the haiku sounds like a run-on sentence because the author is too lazy to rewrite the fragment clearly and thus, has to add a dash forcing the reader into the obligatory break.
For me, this is a red flag that the writer either did not believe in the “haiku has two parts” rule or didn't stay with the rewrite long enough to solve the problem properly.
Frankly, I see most punctuation as a cop-out. Almost any ku written as a run-on sentence (with or without its dash) can be rewritten so the grammar syntax forms the proper breaks. Or the author forms places where the reader can decide where to make the break and thus, give the haiku additional meaning. From this philosophy, I view haiku with punctuation as haiku which perhaps fail to fit this basic form. Some writers, unable, or unwilling to understand the use of fragment and phrase will write the ku in one line. If the author has a well-developed feeling for fragment and phrase, the grammar will expose which is which. In these cases, my feeling is - why not write the ku in the three lines it “shows” by the way it sounds.
Occasionally a haiku is written that is so full of possible divisions into what is the fragment or the phrase that writing it in one line is the only way that offers the reader the complete freedom to find the breaks. And with each new arrangement the meaning of the poem varies.  An example would be:

mountain heart in the stone mountain tunnel light 

Over the years I gradually gave up (and easily abandoned) the dashes, semi-colons, commas and full stops to incorporate ambiguity in the ku, but it has been hard for me to let go of the question mark - which is rather silly, as it is so clear from the grammar that a question is being asked. Still, and yet . . . I mention this, so newcomers to haiku understand that rules are not written in stone, but something each of us has to work out for ourselves. It is an on-going job and one I hope will never end.
The usual way we find new “rules” is by reading the work of others and deciding for ourselves what works as a ku or what we admire. Consciously or unconsciously we begin to imitate the style that “rule” creates. Usually we stay with a “rule” until we find a new one to replace it. Because there are so many rules, we all have different set with which we are working. By carefully reading a good-quality haiku journal, you can see which “rules” the editor is accepting by the haiku printed. That does not mean “this” is the only way to write a haiku.
You need to make the decision: are those a rules, goals or guidelines some I want for myself? This thought is much more gentle than saying some haiku are good and others are bad.
There is, thank goodness, no one way to write a haiku. Though the literature has haiku which we admire and even model our own works on, there is no one style or technique which is absolutely the best. Haiku is too large for that. Haiku has, in its short history been explored and expanded by writers so that now we have a fairly wide range of styles, techniques and methods to investigate.   
Jane Reichhold (1937-2016)
Personally, I would prefer more discussions of these techniques using riddles, associations, contrasts, oneness, sense-switching, narrowing focus, metaphor and simile (yes! judicially and in moderation), sketch (Shiki's shasei), double entendre, close linkage, leap linkage, pure objectivism, and more, rather than the mysterious idea that if one has a true haiku moment the resulting ku will be an excellent haiku.
This is pure rot. The experience is necessary and valid (and probably the best part of the haiku path), but writing is writing is skill and a craft to be learned.  Techniques are methods of achieving a known goal in writing. They are something to learn and then forget as Basho has already told us. But once you learn them you will understand why some haiku “work” for you and others do not. It also prepares you to instinctively use the best technique for each of your haiku experiences.  Perhaps, nothing is absolute in haiku. Like life, haiku require learning, experience and balance.

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We have had two series of Haiku Writing Techniques here at CDHK (you can find the e-books in our Library), without Jane's knowledge I couldn't have done that. And the months in which Basho was the main theme were also possible through the knowledge of Jane. I have learned a lot from her and I hope the same for you my dear Haijin, visitors and travelers.

This episode I love to ask you all to create haiku (or tanka) in which you use the fragment and phrase theory as stated by Jane Reichhold, just to honor her.
entwined
bare branches of the twin oak
in the backyard
© Chèvrefeuille
together as one
the butterfly and the bee
searching for honey
© Chèvrefeuille
weeping willow

This haiku I wrote in 2011, it was part of an article about a haiku by Matsuo Basho in which I tried (as we do in our CD Specials) to write a haiku in the same tone, sense and spirit as the haiku by Basho. Maybe I have to give that Basho haiku also here to show you what I mean, but let me first give the haiku I wrote:

 hot summerday
the shadow of the willows
Ah! that coolness
© Chèvrefeuille

And this was the haiku by Basho which played the leading role in that article:

essential to life
the little space under my hat
enjoying the coolness


© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)
 
I have given it a thought reading it aloud and noticed that there were two moments to take a breath, after the first and second line. With the above article in mind and the idea that every haiku must be said in one breath ... I re-wrote the haiku to the next form:

Ah! that coolness
the willows' shadow
on a hot summerday

© Chèvrefeuille

I don't know if this re-done haiku has become revitalized, but I have to say this second version is better than the first version. 
And now it is up to you to use the "fragment and phrase" way of writing haiku yourself. Enjoy this exercise. This episode is open for your submissions next Sunday May 21st at 7.00 PM (CET) and will remain open until May 26th at noon (CET). I will try to publish our next episode around the same time as the submissions start.
 

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Carpe Diem Universal Jane #15 birdcage


!! Submission is open next Sunday April 22nd at 7.00 PM (CET) !!

Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

Welcome at a new "weekend-meditation", the feature for this weekend is a new episode of Universal Jane, in honor of my mentor, friend and co-host of CDHK, she is still missed. This week I had vacation, so I had some time of and could finally relax and recover from the exhaustion I felt the last weeks. I am glad that I have found back my energy and that this week has done that for me.
Today, April 20th, is my birthday so I had a lot of people at my home, to celebrate this with me. I became 54 yrs.

This "weekend-meditation" I have taken the easy way, sometimes I love to bring back episode from our history and this weekend I love to inspire you through an article written by Jane that I used back in December 2014.

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Building an Excellent Birdcage by Jane Reichhold

All the haiku used in this article are by Matsuo Basho and were translated by Jane Reichhold.

clouds of fog
quickly doing their best to show
one hundred scenes

What is poetry?

The art of poetry is such a hard thing to describe. Everyone is looking for a way to put words to something that is larger than words, more alive than thought, and longer lasting than any one poem. Poetry is the art of piling up dissimilar images to create an idea that has no exact name.

Picture this. A woman is standing at an open window. Just staring into space, a bit unfocused, lost in a world of thoughts and ideas. Suddenly a small, brown bird alights on the window sill. She knows she should carry the bird out the door and let it go but before she does, she has to do one more thing.
She builds a cage out of words. A cage she can share with others. The work on the cage goes on for days, maybe it is even years until the cage comes under the eyes of another person. In that moment, when the cage of words enters another's mind, it begins to expand. It breaks up into thought - images created by the reader. Through the maze, and amazement of the reader, two cupped hands come forth.
The woman relaxes and lets the bird go. Now its dry feathery weight is in the man's palm. What does it look like? What is it like? Slowly he makes a tiny finger-crack window in his hand and he sees the same eye staring at him that stared at the woman a long time ago when it stood on her window sill. With a flurry of feathers, that shed a magic rarely found, the bird flies back into the sky. It is impossible not to say, "Ah ha!"
So that is what haiku is all about. How to build the cage of words to hold the miracle safe and full of sound until the images in a reader's mind open the door to the wonderment and delight the author found in one part of the world. It is the cage that will attract and intrigue the reader, but it must also be well-built enough to bring the experience intact across time and space. Part of what makes haiku so interesting is that in learning how to read it you have to learn how to build these images.

frogpond
old pond
a frog jumps into
the sound of water

You read "old pond" and you instantly imagine some old pond - and everyone's old pond in different.
"a frog jumps into" and your mind sees a frog, jumping left or right or straight ahead and every one of us imagines a different frog.
And then comes the kicker in the last line "the sound of water". What does he mean? It jumps into its own sound? But it does, and if you can imagine the frog jumping then you will be able to hear that sound.

So haiku, as you can see, make excellent cages. They are the perfect size for carrying our deepest experiences. Not big and clumsy with too many words. Not with thick bars of old ideas and abstract thinking. Haiku are alive. Like a cage made of living branches, they support and nourish the art of poetry until it arrives - safe and alive - in the mind of the reader. You're not going to teach anybody anything with your haiku - you're going to show them the experience.

I believe that every person has the ability to be a poet, whether you think you can or not. Some of you may suspect this about yourselves because of an undefined yearning - a place within you that you cannot scratch or reach. Perhaps some times this yen sublimates into a joy in words, a delight in the melodies of dialect, or in other forms of writing. Often it manifests in an interest in reading poetry by others. Or it can come in the simple desire of noticing a beautiful thing and wishing to hold on to the feeling it gives you.

You don't need talent, you just need to do it, and do it and do it, and enjoy it ... and to do it some more. If you go back to poetry that you have written and been unhappy with, go to the best and most interesting part of it and I can almost guarantee that there will be a haiku right there.
You can be a poet if you really want to be and to the degree you want to be, and I believe Basho can show you how. He can at least show you how to write haiku.

Matsuo Basho (1644-1694)
Learning to write haiku has advantages for learning to write anything. This was his final poem ...

clear cascade
scattered on the waves
green pine needles

and its revision ...

clear cascade
no dust on the waves
the summer moon

Being a poet will make your life richer. 

If you allow yourself to write haiku your life will change. I guarantee you that. Haiku writing is different to any other kind of writing because it demands that you change the way you act, the way you look at the world and think.
It begins where you are - in the present. Kierkegaard said that the unhappy man has no present, and I think much of our unhappiness lies with old memories that are painful and fears of the future, but if you come to this moment, this place where you are and think about your uncomfortable chair or the temperature of the room, and accept them, that helps everything.
Haiku are brief and that makes them easy to write because you don't have the chance to make that many errors. You always write them in the present tense, keeping them simple, keeping them brief and using common words, not fancy ones.
The other good thing about haiku is that it will connect you to the world outside - one of the ways of learning to write haiku is to take a walk. You will see things, things will call out to you and you will suddenly see something different that you've never seen before or you'll see a relationship between the rolling surf and a cloud above; or you'll see something odd and you'll watch and your whole focus will leave your body and go to what you're watching.
And that is the most freeing thing you can do. I think you live longer if you can do that. We'll see.

first blossoms
seeing them extends my life
seventy-five more years 

First Cherry Blossom ©photo Chèvrefeuille (2014)

The question of syllables

Many people think haiku are not real haiku unless they have 17 syllables - but this does not have to be. In Japan if you're counting the sound units there should be 17, but English syllables and Japanese sound units are different. The sound units are much shorter, and so if you would write a 17-syllable haiku it would come out about one-third too long. For instance, if you say "Tokyo" it has 3 syllables, but in Japanese it has 4 sound units.
When the Japanese tried to translate English haiku into Japanese they ended up with big, clunky poems and way too many words. So we've taken the idea of using short-long-short lines and this conforms to the haiku form, but it allows us a little more freedom in how many words we use. Also, in Japanese instead of having a full stop or a comma or a dash they have a word for the break the punctuation creates, and those words take up a couple of sound units so that's another way of shortening it.

Modern haiku writers think you should not count English syllables when writing haiku and this allows a lot of freedom - you can forget about those particular bars of the cage.

Should haiku be written in English?

There's an old idea that haiku cannot be written in English. In the 1960s RH Blyth wrote: "Women cannot write haiku." So, here I am. Earl Miner wrote a book about Basho's renga and said it's an interesting form and a beautiful thing to study ... but we shouldn't try it in English. And this is still the attitude in a lot of universities where they start with the idea you're taught haiku in the 2nd grade (aged 8), therefore it's something for elementary school.
Well, you learn addition and subtraction in the 2nd grade too, but that doesn't stop you from studying calculus and algebra. And the same is true for haiku. The more you know about the form the more there is to learn.
I would like to see haiku, or Japanese genres, taught in universities because I feel there is so much more to be learned. In the 1920s when poets first began to be exposed to translations, like Ezra Pound and Amy Lowell, they got this idea of how important it is to work with images instead of abstract ideas, and so they began to use these methods with their own poetry.
But they didn't take it far enough. They didn't study the form so they could write really well. But it is possible, I believe, to write very good English haiku. I suppose I'll be struck dead for saying it, but I take a Japanese magazine of haiku in which they translate Japanese into English, and I would say that what is being written in English is better.
The Japanese are working with the ideas of how to build a haiku, but we've had to study it so much and we've had to figure it out. A lot of Japanese have heard the Japanese poems from their childhood and therefore think they can do it. And they can. They bring a spirit to haiku that I don't think English-speaking people will ever have - their sensitivity, their grace, their elegance. We can't do that. But we can bring what we are to that form.

winter confinement
again I'll lean on
this post


Stop telling stories

One of the early mistakes people make when writing haiku is that they want to tell a story because we come from a literary tradition of storytelling and it's hard to stop that. It's very easy to say "the door opened, the dog came and spilled his water on the cat".
That's not haiku. Haiku focuses in, it goes right to the very heart. In this story you would focus on the water hitting the cat and that's all you would talk about because that's all that's important in that story.
This is something that it takes a while for people to understand. One of the best ways of finding out what haiku are is to read them.

storm-torn banana tree
all night I listen to rain
in a basin

Banana-tree (Basho)

Reading and writing

But reading haiku is not easy. I handed a friend of mine a haiku book and she called me up weeks later and said, "Jane, you know I love you, but I cannot figure out what these are". And she simply didn't know how to read them - it's true that you have to learn how to read a haiku.
When they were first introduced in English people thought they were epigrams or aphorisms and that implies that they are one sentence long. Haiku are not sentences. A haiku is built of two parts: The phrase and the fragment. The fragment is usually in the third or first lines, and the phrase combines two lines, usually the second and third, or first and second.
I think Basho is the one who can show us most clearly that haiku is poetry. When he started writing they were like a game or a pastime, and unfortunately this aura still hangs around haiku and you see with this the online jokey haiku.
Basho took the idea that if you're a serious, deep person then your haiku will be serious and deep. Even though haiku are very small, they're extremely elastic (but remember that brevity doesn't leave room for mistakes). You can put in everything that you can feel, and it's only your lack of writing skills that would make that not possible.
Haiku can be, and sound extremely, simple but they hold vast reservoirs of meaning in their layers, like the Basho poem about the crow:

autumn evening
a crow settles down
on a bare branch

It's also interesting that haiku being so small have the most rules. Everybody who has learned it in the 2nd grade has learned 17 syllables and something about nature and you think you've got it covered, but you haven't - I'm still learning new rules, many from working with Basho's poems.I wish you many delights on your own journey to being a poet and may haiku be your starting point and companion.

Jane Reichhold

Jane Reichhold (1937-2016)

This article was published earlier at http://www.poetrysociety.org.nz and published here with her kind permission.


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A wonderful article I would say, an article that (I hope) can inspire you to create haiku, tanka or another Japanese poetry form.

Back in 2014 this was my response on this article in which I tried to catch the essence of this article:

with my bare feet
in the cool grass of dawn
Ah! what a feeling

© Chèvrefeuille

Heath
I love to share here another nice creative form of haikui-ing, the Troiku, it's a creative form I invented myself. More on Troiku you can find above in the menu. I not often write Troiku, but sometimes I feel the urge to create one. However that urge I didn't had today, so I ran through my archive and found the following Troiku.

walking on the heath
in the light of the full moon
the scent of autumn

walking on the heath
feeling one with a Shepherd
in contact with God (*)

in the light of the full moon
laying down in the meadow
the River of Heaven (**)

the scent of autumn
feelings of departure and loneliness
tears in the puddle

© Chèvrefeuille

(*) Inspired on the Shepherd boy in The Alchemist of Paulo Coelho
(**) the Milky Way

Well .... I hope I have inspired you to create your poems. This "weekend-meditation" is open for your submissions next Sunday April 22nd at 7.00 PM (CET) and will remain open until April 27th at noon (CET). At that same time I hope to publish our new episode, the first of this month's Theme Week, Andromeda-flowers. For now .... have fun! And have a great weekend.