Dear haijin, visitors and travelers,
Another episode of our haibun feature "Kamishibai" I love to share with you all. I Was reading "The Zahir" by Paulo Coelho when a story cam in mind. Somewhere in this novel he says "I am a cathedral which is never ready". As I read that I had a revelation and that's what I love to share here.
Once, a long time ago, I visited Barcelona and I (of course) had to visit the Sagrada Familia, that wonderful Cathedral (still in building) of the architect Antoni Gaudi. It was stunning and I felt little. It's a great experience to visit this Cathedral almost a holy experience. I felt the Holy Family deep inside of me and I realized that I am also part of that Holy Family and that I am still growing spiritual.
Years ago, I was a teenager, I wasn't happy with myself. I didn't know what I would be. I loved to be a teacher them and I studied to become a teacher, but as I was one ... it didn't gave me fulfillment. I shed a lot of tears, because I hadn't thought that being a teacher wasn't my goal in this life. As I went on with my life new dreams came. As you maybe know I sought for wisdom in the occult and I became very ill ... a year past away and finally I could become free of the occult. The occult however didn't let me go ... it hold me tight and finally I could break loose by writing a novel (in Dutch by the way). Finally I could go on with my life and became an oncology nurse. I love my work and for sure I do my work with unconditional love, but ... the gaining to be a teacher stayed deep inside.
I started to give lessons about cancer and enjoyed it very much. To become an oncology nurse finally I had to do a research. That research was about spirituality and religiosity and it brought me insight in myself.
I am a very spiritual being and I hope that I will look like that on the outside, but feeling it inside is enough to me. With haiku I found a way to bring my inside to the outside and this month with all the wonderful music by Karunesh I feel that I have succeeded in that goal.
And that all said because I read a novel by Paulo Coelho in which he says that he is a cathedral in building ... I think he is right ... I feel that way myself ... my life is still deepening and yes I build my own life ... every day again I grow a little bit and finally I will become that guy who had several dreams ... dreams that sometimes reach for heaven as the Sagrada Familia.
reaching for heaven
in praise of the Creator