Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,
- 5-7-5 syllables
- a kigo (seasonword)
- a kireji (cuttingword or punctuation)
- a moment as short as the sound of a pebble thrown into water
- a deeper, spiritual, meaning
- the first and third line are interchangeable
botan saite atari ni hana no naki gotoshi
when the peonies bloomed,
it seemed as though there were
no flowers around them
In the haiku by Kiitau I see the beauty of peonies, those awesome rose-like flowers. Several years ago I had a wonderful bush of peonies in my backyard. I can still see their pinkish-white colors in front of my eyes. When they were still in their buds they were visited (frequently) by thousands of ants, and than ... they bloomed ... an explosion of flowers ... all the other plants, trees and flowers became "over-shadowed" by the beauty of "my" peonies ... awesome.
|Credits: Book-cover "Memoires of a Geisha" by XMarr|
As I am starting to write our posts, I also start to compose the haiku in my mind. During the writing of the posts images start to flow in front of my eyes. Images, or flashes of images, appear and flow, emerging in and out, like breathing. The images are constantly changing as I write the posts. During writing a lot of images come and go. There are always images that stay. As I am almost ready writing the post, a few images remain in my mind, I know I have to use them in my haiku.
Than the 'sculpting' begins. I write my haiku and re-write them until I know, don't ask me how, that I have the right haiku. Sometimes, and I know that the classical haiku-poets (e.g. Basho or Shiki) did that also, I have to re-do the final haiku a few times again.
the beauty of nature (4 syllables)
a geisha with peonies in her hair (9 syllables)
the sweet sound of a bamboo flute (7 syllables)
|Credits: Woodblock print "geisha"|
The above haiku, for example, is one of the "pre-haiku" of the haiku to share here. This "pre-haiku" I have to re-do, because of the classical rules we have to use here in this "Sparkling Stars"-feature. And ... as you maybe know, I am not a haiku-poet of the classical way of writing. Here another kind of 'sculpting' starts, to got 5-7-5 syllables. As you all know I am not that familiar with the syllables-rules of English, so I use a syllable-counter on the Internet.
This is my "composing-path" to make the (above) haiku, a classical one (after every line between () you can read the syllables-count). This is the first 're-make':
nature's beauty (3)
a geisha with peonies in her hair (9)
the sound of a flute (4)
In this second version I have not enough syllables, so I have to try other words, without losing my image as I have planned; "nature's beauty" (3), not enough syllables, what to do? I will add astonishment to the beginning of this line.
Ah! the beauty of nature (5)
The first line is ok, so up to the second line.
"a geisha with peonies in her hair" (9), to much syllables. How to re-do this line without losing the scene? I have to get a few words out of this line, and than ... the "aha-erlebnis":
geisha, peonies in her hair (7)
To make the image complete I have to come up with a wonderful third, closing, line. So I seek for other words for example instead of "a flute" I use "Shakuhachi" (a Japanese end-blown flute. During the medieval period, shakuhachi were most notable for their role in the Fuke sect of Zen Buddhist monks, known as komusō ("priests of nothingness," or "emptiness monks"), who used the shakuhachi as a spiritual tool. Their songs (called "honkyoku") were paced according to the players' breathing and were considered meditation (suizen) as much as music). And so I have found my third line too.
playing the shakuhachi (5)
|Credits: Komuso Buddhist monk beggar playing the Shakuhachi|
Finally I have caught the image, which came in mind as I was writing this post. And now I can share the haiku which I distilled from the images in my mind inspired on the haiku by Kiitau:
Ah! the beauty of nature -
geisha, peonies in her hair,
playing the Shakuhachi
Not completely according to the rules of this feature, because the first and third line aren't interchangeable. You can try to interchange it, but than the haiku loses it's beauty. So ... I am sorry that I didn't succeeded, forgive me ... (smiles)
I love to share a nice piece of Shakuhachi music. Enjoy the music. (This piece of Shakuhachi-music is called 'kyuden no kurayami' and is performed by Rodrigo Rodriguez )
This episode of "Sparkling Stars" is NOW OPEN for your submissions and will remain open until next Saturday September 6th at noon (CET). Have fun! I hope you enjoyed this post and the insight story about 'giving birth' to a haiku.