Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,
It's time for another wonderful haiku written/composed by our featured (Dutch) haiku poetess Fuyuko Tomita. I think it's a beauty again, but this haiku is very different then we are used to I think. This haiku has four (4) lines and I am not sure if I could bring this back to three lines, so I haven't done that. I share it as she has done it on her website.
Kantooka magatte shimatta magarikado
Under a cold
street lamp
I’ve just turned
the corner
© Fuyuko Tomita
street lamp
I’ve just turned
the corner
© Fuyuko Tomita
 |
| Credits: Japanese Street Lantern (photo © Jim Epler) |
As you all know the goal of this CD-Special is to compose an all new haiku in the same sense, tone and spirit as the one given ... so here is my attempt to compose an all new haiku in (in hope) the same spirit as the one by Fuyuko Tomita.
rainy day
a stray tries to stay dry -
broken umbrella
© Chèvrefeuille
I hope the haiku by Fuyuko can be your source of inspiration and that I will read wonderful haiku inspired on this haiku.
This episode of our CD-Special will be open for your submissions tonight at 7.00 PM (CET) and will remain open until February 16th at noon (CET). I hope to publish our next episode, dream, later on. !! Carpe Diem Haiku Kai is now also on Tumblr !!
rainy day
a stray tries to stay dry -
broken umbrella
© Chèvrefeuille
I hope the haiku by Fuyuko can be your source of inspiration and that I will read wonderful haiku inspired on this haiku.
This episode of our CD-Special will be open for your submissions tonight at 7.00 PM (CET) and will remain open until February 16th at noon (CET). I hope to publish our next episode, dream, later on. !! Carpe Diem Haiku Kai is now also on Tumblr !!
Today (February 13th) I got an e-mail of Fuyuko Tomita in which she grants me permission to use her haiku and she explained why she sometimes uses four (4) lines for her haiku. I will share that part of her email here:
ReplyDelete[...] "When I translate Japanese haiku into English, I do not follow 5-7-5 form. The reason is that Japanese haiku has fewer syllables than english and in my feeling, better 3-5-3.
The translater has to put extra words of her/his own to make English haiku, and most of the times it ruins the poem.
I am very afraid that someone who is not a (good - the same energy) poet himself would ruin my poetic rythm. So I decided to translate it myself. (Can you imagine the fear?)
My translation is not a direct translation from the original. I like to make English poem with the same feeling with the original. So my 'corner' haiku's original is exactly so in 4 lines in me.
Some of the original haiku is so short that I have to put many extra words in English (which I think only allowed by the author herself). So please do not try to make English 5-7-5 haiku out of my haiku! I have been struggling in translation for a long time, and this is where I am now - my original Japanese haiku are haiku, but in English, a short poem with haiku spirit."[...]
And of course I understand that. I am glad that my intuition gave me the thought to let the haiku as it is published by Fuyuko herself.
nature’s moods are capricious
ReplyDeleteThere's no google for Lynn's comments. I'll post this here just as Girl Friday did. Sorry to trouble you Kris.
That is true Lynn! Nature can go along any directions with minds of their own. Wonderful cascades!
Hank