Sunday, September 18, 2016

Carpe Diem #1057 creek


Dear Haijin, visitors and travelers,

Thank you all for your kind words, little by little I am feeling better, I have a kind of flu and that makes it impossible to take enough time to create the posts for CDHK.

Today however I have tried to create a nice episode for you inspired on Jane Reichhold's saijiki "A Dictionary of Haiku", today our prompt (modern kigo) is creek and it's a modern kigo from the Summer Terrestrial section.

Here are the haiku by Jane to inspire you:

summer creek
the fish in me getting
fish kisses

summer-hot hills
folding together
dry creek beds

without a boat
crossing the creek
pine shadow wind

© Jane Reichhold

Three wonderful, but extraordinary haiku, but ... well that was Jane, a great poetess with an extraordinary idea about haiku in our modern times.

Summer Creek
And here is the haiku which I wrote inspired on the above beauties by Jane:

the creek ripples
water circles grow
a pebble

© Chèvrefeuille

Not as strong as I had hoped, but I like the scene.

This episode is NOW OPEN for your submissions and will remain open until September 23rd at noon (CET). I will (try to) publish our new episode, wisdom, later on. For now ... have fun!

6 comments:

  1. Makes me smile...every time you write your haiku is not too strong it is one of my favorite! I do like movement in haiku, and the way this one reads is really very nice indeed. I say reads but mean unfolds.

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  2. Oh dear ... I didn't realize you've been ill! So very glad you're mending

    And yes... your haiku unfolds beautifully

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  3. Carpe Diem Challenge #1057 Creek:

    gurgling brook
    creatures of the forest
    refreshed

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  4. Kristjaan,
    A question if I may...
    do you think you're haiku would sound more complete if it
    said:
    water circles grow
    around a pebble

    or do you feel that is too wordy?

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    Replies
    1. No problem Joyce you can always question me, I love to "discuss" my own work. I have to say that I do understand your idea: with your idea this haiku will be like this:

      the creek ripples
      water circles grow
      around a pebble

      And that sounds great also, but the idea behind my sentence "a pebble" was to create a surprise or an "aha-erlebnis". I think that surprise that "aha-erlebnis" is gone as the third line would be as you propose "around a pebble".

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  5. Thank you, Kristjaan, I see your point...or pebble!!

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